It's Raining in my Heart...
As exciting as it can be sometimes, being single in New York sometimes gives you nights that are truly depressing. Like tonight. I was slightly disappointed that I haven't heard from Karaoke Boy yet (I know, it's early, but I've been spoiled of late, usually hearing from guys the next day. And too many times burned makes me suspicious of everyone, of course), and completely depressed about this show I'm in (each performance is, I think, more torturous than the last--I hate every second of it. Not why I became an actress...). So what I really needed was a good night out to flirt to make myself feel happy, hopeful, and attractive (I know, I shouldn't rely on boys for validation, but, well, I do. So sue me.).It was the director of my show's birthday, so we all go out to this ale house. I was thinking there would be single boys about (aren't there always single boys about?) but all of her friends have coupled up. Yes, all of them. (As have all of my friends, which certainly doesn't help my single state of mind). And the place was teeming with guys, but we were stuck in the corner at our own table, completely isolated from all of them. (So close... yet so far away...) And I couldn't just up and go talk to random guys while ignoring my director and her friends, so I chatted away with the couples, the other actors in my show, the director and her husband, etc., etc..
I also, being jobless, don't really have the financial resources to get myself drunk, so I'm slowly sipping away as everyone else gets more and more intoxicated. Finding yourself single and sober with a bunch of drunken couples is not anyone's idea of a good time. And the bar clears out. Suddenly there are no boys at all! I've lost my chance. However, one of the actresses in my show was there, and we had talked about trolling for boys when we were done. She also lives somewhat near me, so I assumed that we'd take the train together. So I stick around much longer than I'd like (I'm not really having fun, after all) to wait for her to get ready to go. Well, we all end up leaving around 2, and I'm told that my co-star is going to go home with the director (possibly for a threesome with her and her husband? I'm not entirely sure, but that seemed to be the implication). Soooooooooo great. I'm sober, just spent my last dime, didn't talk to any boys--and Karaoke Boy hasn't called, spent the evening talking to people I didn't really want to talk to, it's raining, and now I have to walk 2 miles to the subway alone, and there's no one for me to check other bars out with (and no, i'm not cool enough to brave the Village bars alone on a Saturday night. No sir.). What a waste.
It's easy to see why "couple" friends and "single" friends end up drifting apart. This is a brand new scenario for me, though--before, everyone I knew was just dating "someone" not "The One." But the couples, well, I just don't think they understand anymore. How hard it is to be alone here--and how completely depressing. And to see all your best friends with guys that they're most likely going to end up marrying--and you all alone? It's enough to put any girl into a funk. Add the show from hell into the mix, and you've got a very unhappy camper.
posted by . @ 3:54 AM
9 Comments:
Sounds like you had a pretty crappy night - hanging out with couples can do that to you sometimes. I know how it feels. Pretty much ALL of my friends are married. And couples like to hang with couples, so much so that this summer my best friends group of 6 pushed me and this other single guy friend together becasue they liked the idea of their "little 8-some". I found it infuriating - like I couldn't be a part of their club unless I was coupled.
Keep in good spirits. I bet Karaoke is playing it safe w/ the 3-day rule and will call for another date and your bad, boyless, penniless night out will fade to a bad memory.
Hey girl- just wanted to show some solidiarity. I know how it feels. I'm pretty much in the same boat. All of my friends, even a lot of the guys and my exboyfriends, are coupled or married. I seriously feel like the last single out there. And except for two months when I dated someone, it's been that way for two and half years. I met someone last week, we connected, hooked it up, and I really hoped he might call. But realistically knowing his situation, it's not shocking he didn't. I spent a night out on Friday much like yours. However, last night I opened an old personals ad and discovered I had two potentially decent prospects, so I wrote them. I'm sure Karaoke, as betty on the beach said, was busy today and playing it safe. You've got a lot more action and stuff going on the rotation. No need to feel bad at all. I guess my point is- there's highs and lows for everyone.
Ditto all of the above!! :)
Hang in there and keep your chin up, girl. When it comes to dating in New York, I've been 2 miles beyond the point of frustration on several occasions.
As with everything else in life, there'll always be highs and lows. ( ... Or, at least, that's what everyone told me during my last, "I'm shit of the single shit" rant ...)
At any rate, my advice about the "lows"? Stock up and eat lots and lots of CHOCOLATE. That, and update your blog. (I've received so many words of encouragement and support from Bloggers who I've never met. It's always refreshing.)
P.S. Sending good vibes your way ... hopefully you'll meet someone soon and/or the new boy will call.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think dating in NY is much different than here in NC. I've played 3rd (or 5th, or 7th, etc Wheel on many occasion). I was also in a reverse situation this Friday, where a group of people, mostly couples with one or two single women, were at a table across from me. There was some eye flirting with one of the women, but I didn't want to intrude on their group function and evening. Hearing your story, maybe I should have.
Ahhh..nothing like feeling like 10 pounds of crap in a five pound bag.
Been there often
chin up.
Sethro,
If some gentleman had rescued me from the hell that was my evening, I would have been mighty grateful. If you were getting glances from the single girls, they were probably thinking the same thing...
New boy needs a nickname, otherwise is current one may curse him.
Ever wondered if one of the boys would find this site? I'd figure that to be a bit scary and funny.
It's getting colder out these days, so don't worry. One thing nyc is good for is finding someone to keep things warm in the winter.
There is an anonymous post on my birthday post signed "The Prospect" -- but he hasn't mentioned it in person...
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