Monday, October 10, 2005

Creepy Wedding in CT

So, this morning I finally got back from Hartford.

All of my boyfriend’s friends (except for Goofball) are getting married this Fall, so we had to attend yet another wedding. I have to say this of all the weddings I’ve been to in my life, this one was the most troubling.

This couple, we’ll call them Rhonda and Jonathan, are really cute together. They are clearly very much in love and are devoted to each other. However, their wedding ceremony was very upsetting.
First, they barely looked at each other during the ceremony. She looked happy, but he looked like he was about to shit himself or something. They weren’t really holding hands during the ceremony and didn’t even really look at each other during the vows portion of the ceremony. I couldn’t understand it.

The worst part was the Minister. He was so sexist. He kept talking about how we should pray for Jonathan to be the best provider and leader of the family. Hello! Rhonda is a lawyer, she can provide for herself. I also don’t agree that anyone should lead anyone else in a marriage. Isn’t the point of being married that you’re supposed to make decisions together? I don’t want anyone to tell me what to do and I don’t want to tell anyone what to do. Then the Minster was saying that we should pray for Rhonda to be understanding and patient. Doesn’t a husband need to be those things too?

I know men that sometimes say things like “Women belong in the kitchen” or whatever, but they don’t really mean it. They are just trying to shock people. This Minister meant his creepy words.

I swear to God that when I get married, I will write the damn ceremony to prevent any kind of sexist crap from working its way into the service. Or better yet, I’ll have one of my friends ordained to perform weddings on the internet or something.


It was all so upsetting!

13 Comments:

At 10/10/2005 9:03 PM, Blogger Damn It Anyway said...

OK first of all the whole minister thing is pretty freaky, but that’s just the whole religion thing. All bets are off when it comes to religion and I won’t even being to get into that.

Second of all, my ex-wife and I dated for 3 years and I was incredibly comfortable around her, but when I saw her in that wedding dress minutes before we got married I was stunned. Completely thrown off. I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life and have serous doubts I ever will ever again. Keep in mind I’m an assface pig, and I cried when I saw her. I was so nervous about the whole ceremony after seeing her, all I wanted to to was hold her tightly until the sun burned out, it all happned so fast. It’s so difficult to explain it unless you’ve been there as well. Here I was, about to spend the rest of my life (or so I thought), with the only proof I had that there was a god (at the time I remember thinking “there MUST be a god…there’s no way she can be random”).

What I’m trying to say is, there’s a lot more going on up there than two people repeating the words of the minister.

 
At 10/11/2005 3:18 AM, Blogger ThreeCharlie said...

Ugh. That sucks. On the bright side look at it like this: Most of my friends got married when they were in their early twenties. Now that we're in our late twenties they're all divorced with at least one kid and some are in financial ruin. So be glad you’re not married. Don't be like those other idiots who get married because they feel the need to be married as soon as possible. Do it because you want it.

 
At 10/11/2005 8:13 AM, Blogger Damn It Anyway said...

Yeah...and THEN get a divorce.

 
At 10/11/2005 10:10 AM, Blogger Anonymous City Girl said...

I was so nervous about the whole ceremony after seeing her, all I wanted to to was hold her tightly until the sun burned out, it all happned so fast. It’s so difficult to explain it unless you’ve been there as well. Here I was, about to spend the rest of my life (or so I thought), with the only proof I had that there was a god

aawww... did anyone else get misty when they read that?

 
At 10/11/2005 10:28 AM, Blogger Vivi Anna said...

Just discovered your blog from Bust!! Love it!

My advice don't get married by a minister. Use a justice of the peace...non-religious, and they go over what they're going to say with you way before the actual wedding...

Or get married by a woman minister...then you're sure not to get any sexist crap!!!

 
At 10/11/2005 10:53 AM, Blogger Anonymous City Girl said...

I personally think Elvis impersonators in Vegas are the only way to go.

 
At 10/11/2005 2:30 PM, Blogger Le Synge Bleu said...

i actually once went to a wedding of this great couple who had had a child out of wedlock a year and a half earlier. no bigggie, right? evidently the preacher thought it was. he thought it was a big enough deal that he publically (and in front of the child for thaht matter!) asked those in attendance to forgive the couple for their grievous sins and wanted to let us know that the couple had repented and asked jesus to forgive them so we should too. i thought that was just the tackiest most horrible thing in the world! i would have walked out, was i not in the wedding party. instead i glared and stewed and made mean faces at the preacher.

 
At 10/11/2005 3:58 PM, Anonymous flaunt said...

I found your blog through Roxy's, and I love it! I had a couple of friends get married over the summer and I found their preacher pretty tacky and sexist as well...he kept talking about the groom as the "breadwinner" and the "supporter of the family," even when both of them were working. Makes me want to skip a ceremony altogether (assuming I ever get married, ha!)
And damn it anyway: That was about the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

 
At 10/11/2005 7:48 PM, Anonymous Almost 40-year-old virgin said...

The religion is based on a book written 2000 to 4000 years ago, why the do people expect its practitioners to be modern?

 
At 10/11/2005 8:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello,

I'm a minister, the evangelical kind, and I assure you my weddings don't sound like that. I always try and remember what the Lord Jesus did at a wedding. Turned water into wine as a gift to the bride and groom and for the pleasure of the guests. Now that's cool!

- Mr. Tummnus

 
At 10/12/2005 3:28 PM, Blogger Johnny said...

i think they wanted to originally have vows like

WORSHIP MY GIANT MAN COCK. FOR IT IS GOOD, AND LONG, AND WILL SHOOT WHITE GOO LIKE A FIRETRUCK.

and then they toned it down.

 
At 10/12/2005 6:01 PM, Blogger sethro said...

Wow...I thought only fundamentalist ministers/preachers/pastors down here in the South continued to play to the subservient woman role that's so pervasive in the Bible.

 
At 11/02/2005 2:45 AM, Anonymous Brey said...

It's not just religion and preachers in marriage that is sexist, but the whole ceremony itself. Nearly every aspect of what the bride is "supposed" to do makes her out to be either completely virginal or some kind of commodity. The white wedding dress, come on, no one is 'pure' really, so why do we have to put on this farce on our wedding day that we are? And if you're attempting to tell the person you're marrying that you're somehow renewed, and only for them, then why don't men have to wear white? Also, the fact that your father walks you down the aisle and "gives you away" really bothers me. Ladies, we are not commodities, we're people! We can't be bartered back and forth. And at the very end they say "I now pronounce you man and wife." Man and wife? Not husband and wife? Like if you're a wife, you're not a woman, you're not even a person anymore. Yet he gets to keep his humanistic qualities and title. Don't even get me started on the vows...

 

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