More Emails....
So, as I suspected, I've not heard from Karaoke Boy. After he got the photos, he had no need to respond to my email... so c'est la vie. I should have known when dinner was cancelled that something was up. (Just deleting old voicemails today, and on Thursday he said "Just calling to make plans, not only for dinner Saturday, but for going out after as well" ... but by Saturday he'd dropped the dinner. Weird.) Typical behavior--after 3 dates, they all get strange and disappear. It wouldn't be my life if it wasn't like that. Lesson learned, though! No changing plans for boys! (I could have gone to a pal's party--apparently I missed an awesome time. Serves me right!)Also hadn't heard from PT Barnum, so I thought that was over too--but I did hear from him yesterday. Turns out he was out of town. So maybe that will go somewhere, or at least to 3 dates... ;) We'll see.
Have been exchanging emails/phone calls with an Irish boy (a leftover from my match.com days...). We have a 1st date scheduled for Saturday. However, he left a message yesterday, telling me that he has his roommate's car and would I like to get out of the city for dinner? Um, let's think about this. NO?!? Who gets in a car with someone they've never met? I very politely responded:
A drive sounds fun, though I did spend all day Sunday in a car going up to my niece's christening and back. Would you mind staying in the city? Hope that's not a problem.
Is that okay? I don't want to be rude, but I don't feel comfortable putting myself in a position to be raped and killed either.
Honestly, I'm just getting weary of this whole dating process. But everytime I think I want to take a break, more boys emerge, and I find it soooo hard to say no....
I swear, all those years of being boy crazy but too unattractive to date are coming back to haunt me. Now that I'm single again and no longer repulsive, it's like a revolving door...
posted by . @ 1:58 AM
11 Comments:
I'm beginning to think this whole three dates thing is a conspiracy.
Picture this: you're a guy who's just arrived home after date number three with Miss Kristin. Everything seems right with the world, right up until the moment you turn the key in the front door, step inside and get assailed by three men in dark suits and sunglasses who fire taser darts into your nipples that leave you writhing in agony for several seconds before a needle delivers 10 miligrams of some suspiciously colourless liquid into your arm.
You regain consciousness some unspecified time later in a darkened cell. Days later, after learning morse code and communicating with fellow inmates via messages tapped out on the plumbing, you learn that the others here suffered the same fate. Three dates with Kristin, then abduction and incarceration.
Why? Who knows? As it's a conspiracy, it's probably got something to do with JFK, Area 51 and the DaVinci Code.
I'm with Kim, it was probably totally inoccent, but I still definitely think you made the right move. I had never thought about the whole "if we didn't live in the city this would be normal" thing though. Damn, does that officially mean I've become a New Yorker?
Leave it to New Yorkers to come up with the thought they are so different from the rest of the world only New York women have to worry about getting in with cars with strangers.
It ain’t 1950 anywhere anymore!
Doesn’t matter if you’re in New York, Philly, LA, San Fran, or Bumblefuck Iowa, it is not a good idea to get in a car with anyone you don’t know… man, woman, or whatever they may be pretending to be…
On the internet, people can be projecting any image they want.
And if he gets pissy about it and/or pulls the line, “I’m not a psycho!”
Simply reply, “Crazies don’t tell you their crazy and you wouldn’t want your sister getting in with a guy she only talked to online or on the phone, right?”
If he still insists that your precautions are unnecessary, that is MAJOR red flag. Run, don’t walk, away from that one.
I think you did the right thing too Kristen- there are infinite places to go for dinner in NYC- why would you need to go anywhere else? he may be trying to save money by getting out of the city, but then that's another "red flag": if he doesn't care about taking you somewhere nice on the first date, just think what you have to look forward to in the future: Burger King for Valentine's Day!
oh, have fun Kristin! gawd, irish boys are very cute! and charming, about a million more times charming than British boys! and more handsome as well! I just came back from a trip to Dublin, and that is a city full of eye candy!:)
but what about "the irish curse"????
Don't beat yourself up about the three date stuff. The same stuff has not only happened to me multiple times, but to a lot of women in NYC, I'm sure. It's the nature of the NYC beast - dating here is really really weird.
I think your rule about no sex uless you're dating is really smart. A lot of guys will act all interested until you have sex with them and then they just vanish - I've fallen for that one innumerable times too, so consider yourself ahead of the game on the front.
As for getting in a car w/ Irish boy - definitely stick with your gut and don't do it. Not a good idea. You have to be careful.
Okay, so I start typing a comment, but then I delete it. If I remember correctly, it was something along the lines of: "dating fucking sucks." The other day, my friend Bro tells me that when I talk about dating I turn into, "bitter, jaded Stolie" and she likes "light, fluffy, cheery Stolie" better. I gotta remember to work on that.
Anyway ... all of this is to say that I'm sorry to hear about K-boy. I'd offer more words of encouragement, but first I wanna know more about this Irish Curse stuff. Oddly enough, I'd never heard of it until now ...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Definitely the smart idea not to get in the car. After all, you don't know the guy. Doesn't matter whether it's the city or a backwater, it's too much risk for little reward.
So what is the story with this "Irish curse"? Being the genuine article (minus ginger mop, ruddy cheeks and carrot freckles), I'm rather intrigued by this! Maybe I'll have to play up my part-English heritage a bit more...
Love the blog by the way.
Ohmygawd, I love this blog. Found you through Figleaf. Sounds as if you and I are going through some similar things with match.com. Mine just disappear, Bermuda Triangle style. It's so messed up. Maybe we should boycott the site....
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