Cosmic JokeAfter the string of boys I've been dating who've lost interest in me (most after 3 dates, of course), the universe has decided to play a cosmic joke on me. Last week I had two (2!) dates with different men who seemed plenty interested in me, but I couldn't even fathom seeing myself with.
A Music Producer. He started chatting me up on the street last Saturday (before the Kravitz concert I attended with Damn It Anyway) when I realized I had auditioned for his musical a few years earlier. After promises of some studio time and the like, he suggested we get together that week. I'm not entirely sure what I thoughtthat would entail, but when we met up Wednesday, it was, indeed, quite the date. He's far too old for me (in his 40s, I gather) and not the swiftest tool in the shed. Passionate, clearly, but not someone I find attractive, nor, I doubt, someone I ever will. He was so awkward on the date. Clearly the Italian place we went to intimidated him--he made me order for both of us (I think he was afraid of mispronouncing Rigatoni and Pappardelle), didn't eat more than a bite of his pasta, repeated the same stories about himself over and over again, and insisted on paying, despite my repeated attempts to split the check. He called the next morning, and I didn't return his call, but I ran into him on the subway on the way to class Friday and he questioned why I didn't call him back. He suggested we go out this week--and I couldn't reject him on the train, in front of people, so I told him to call me today. He did, and left a message saying to meet him tomorrow at 7. I couldn't call him back (he has no cell phone) so when he called again tonight, I told him the truth: I have rehearsal tomorrow. When he tried to reschedule with me I told him "I don't want to give you the wrong idea, I just can't see you romantically" and then he copped an attitude, saying "I just wanted to know if you wanted to get some food, but whatever" then hung up. Ug. I hate being honest--but it's much easier than trying to avoid someone who is so insistently and repeatedly trying to contact me. Also, it's the right thing to do. Even though I get attitude for doing it.
My last match.com date, with an Irish fellow. Though he brought flowers (to a first date? with a stranger? Never, NEVER a good sign--those guys are always super desperate), he seemed promising--27, getting his masters in sociology, good job, cute Irish accent--until he dropped this little gem of information on our date: He has two (2!) kids, ages 8 and 3, with two different women--one in Ireland and one here in the city (no, this was not on his match.com profile). We had already agreed to have drinks after dinner, and I felt kinda bad for the guy, and didn't want to end the date solely on that basis (I wanted to give him a chance), so off we headed to a bar around the corner from my house (mistake #1). We were talking, though, and the kid thing totally weirded me out, so I figured, "hey, if I drink more, I won't feel so uncomfortable" (mistake #2). 5 martinis later, he walks me home, comes upstairs. We're cuddling on the couch (quite chastely) but I didn't want Cynthia or Madeline to be freaked out when they awoke in the morning, so we moved into my room--and all of a sudden we're hooking up (no, no Irish curse there). Not what I wanted to do, but I was not thinking right. The worst part was the 6am poking his dick into me, while whispering in my ear "are you on contraception?" How nasty is that?? He doesn't even know me and he's trying to fuck me, while I'm half asleep, without a condom. I think I can figure out how he got saddled with 2 kids he barely sees. I told him "no" and he stopped and we went back to sleep. At 10 I woke up. He left with me (I had rehearsal) and we walked to the train together. How unbelievably awkward, though he did tell me repeatedly how he wanted to see me again, how he's sorry if we went too far, etc. He called twice(!) yesterday. I tried calling him back tonight, but he didn't pick up. I left a brief message. If he does call, I'll have to go through the same routine as with the Music Producer. Not fun.
What did I do to get such bad karma?? I'm not sure which is worse--total-potential guys who aren't into me, or no-potential guys that are?