Saturday, January 07, 2006

Mimi Says It Better....

As usual, Mimi says it better than I ever could:
More proof that the men paying IS a cultural thing (interesting, then, that the British Scientist insisted on paying for EVERYTHING. Hrm.). Though I prefer for guys to pay, I'm hardly holding out for designer shoes, or exchanging, well, anything for dinners, really. Is there not some middle ground?

My biggest beef though, is with the double standard. Guys like this think it's ridiculous, an unwarranted sense of entitlement. But guys who think that are generally the same guys that will do all they can to get you into bed, but if they succeed will never call again because "how many guys has she done that with?" It's stupid. Or else, if you've slept with more than 3-4 guys, you're not relationship-material anymore, since you're too easy. How bout this: when guys stop holding girls to an impossible double standard, I'll stop expecting them to buy me drinks/dinner. Deal?


At 1/08/2006 6:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I once offered a nice looking girl in a bar a drink, "another wine?" " Oh I fancy a cocktail now" was the reply!!(not delivered)
As for "guys like this" Trust me all guys are headed for the same destination it's only the means of transport that differ.

At 1/08/2006 10:32 PM, Blogger Damn It Anyway said...

I just had a date this weekend, this time she insisted on paying. I still feel incredibly guilty for lettting her.

At 1/09/2006 6:21 AM, Blogger hofzinser said...

Unless I am a financial wreck, I like to play. I like to pay for the lady (or ladies)... I like to pay for my friends.

It shows my appreciation.

It is OK to be a little old fashioned. He pays for dinner and if he thinks this buys him a ticket to your body he gets a fist for dessert.

At 1/09/2006 9:06 AM, Blogger AWE said...

I am telling you the Southern way is different. Unless they are creeps, most guys pay for the lady. I would be very uncomfortable if things were the other way around, unless it was like a birthday or something.

At 1/09/2006 11:25 AM, Blogger Kim said...

it seems (from my experience anyway) that more "traditional guys" will pay, etc. and more liberal/modern day guys will not. kinda a catch-22 if u dont want to go out w/a traditional thinking guy. then again, maybe i'm generalizing too much. ppl dont usually fall under 2 groups that simply...

At 1/09/2006 3:50 PM, Blogger Betty on the Beach said...

There are so few 'old traditions' left in the dating world these days. I think it's really nice when you meet a guy who retains some of those old ways like paying, walking on the side of the street w/ traffic, holding doors and taking your coat. They're such small gestures but appreciated so much. On the flip side, I can't have them always pay because then I feel guilty. So I'll try, if I have the money, to pay every thrid time or offer to split it. It only seems fair to me.

At 1/09/2006 7:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This conversation is so boring. How many times is this subject going to get brought up?!

At 1/09/2006 10:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

While not touching upon the issue of paying for dinner/dates, one of the more common complaints I've heard about buying drinks for a woman from practically all of my male friends is that the woman takes the drink and moves on. There's no sense of it being a "price of admission" - quite the opposite.

This is part of why I've given up on the bar/club scene almost completely. Unless I get dragged out, I'm not going.


At 1/10/2006 3:52 AM, Blogger ThreeCharlie said...

He's got a point about some women taking the drink and walking away. But just because you buy a woman a drink doesn't entitle you to anything in return. It's like stopping at a stop light and having one of those homeless vagrants washing your windows for you. Sure it's nice of them to do it, but you don't owe them anything, you didn't ask for them to do it. Same goes with buying a woman a drink, she didn't ask for it, it was just bought as an act of kindness with the hope of it acting as an ice-breaker to start a conversation. To think that you are automatically entitled to something in return because you spent maybe $10 on a drink is foolish. It's just how the bar game is played accept it for what it is and play it or else find another venue to meet people on terms that you find more agreeable.

At 2/01/2006 5:03 AM, Blogger The Asian Playboy said...

I remember going down to the OC with my buddy and his two cousins, both incredibly hot blonde coeds and headed out to the clubs.

I ended up getting SERIOUSLY drunk off the free drinks that the girls got from guys and then promptly gave to me and my buddy.

The girls probably spent on average 30 seconds to 5 minutes talking to a guy who spent $8 for their time. Usually the interation assumed the form of, "What's you name? My name's X. What do you like to do? Can I get your number? No?! OK. Bye."

Assuming 5 mintues, that's close to $100 an hour these girls were charging. Expensive talking to blondes. Probably should go for the value menu and talk to a brunette or redhead.

Either way though, it's a hefty price to pay just to flirt with a girl. I'll pay for a first date (or go dutch if she chooses, I don't insist either way), but generally I never INITIATE a conversation with girl by offering her a drink when at a night venue.

Instead, I try and offer an interesting conversation. I make sure that there's something REAL to talk about and that there's attraction. The majority of the time, drinks aren't necessary, whether there's attraction. Or if there's not, we both can go on our merry way.

OH, and by the way, the argument that women make X compared to the Y of men... well, as an Asian, should I expect my white female counterpart to fairly split the bill? Because I make less than WMs and as much as WFs.

Hmmm, just some random musings. I'm disappointed that I won't be able to make New York Fashion Week.

The Asian Playboy


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