Wednesday, December 28, 2005

It Could Be Worse....

Well, for all the bitching and moaning I do about being single in New York, I've decided it could be worse. I could be in San Francisco.

I spent the holidays in San Francisco this year, and hit the bar scene with a few of my gal pals out there (Katie lives out there now, along with one of my most favorite people ever, Babette). Admittedly, things were slow because of the holiday season, but it was illuminating to see the dating scene out there...

It all started when I was meeting Babette for dinner. She was late, of course, so I was on my own. I stood by the bar, wondering what to order, when two nice gentlemen asked me if they could buy me a drink. Of course I agreed, and we had a most pleasant conversation until Babette showed up about a half hour later. When I told her that the gentlemen at the bar had purchased my drink, she was very impressed. "Guys don't really do that here," she said.

I didn't really believe her, though, till I saw it with my own eyes the next night. We bar hopped till we found a suitable lounge (very Chelsea, I felt right at home) and, after a bit, started talking to a group of guys from google. All cute, I felt disappointed I wasn't staying in SF to date any (or all!) of them. Babette, though, did acquire an email address... Anyways, these guys all make good money and yet, at no point did they offer to buy any of us drinks--even when they were going back to the bar to refill their own!! I was shocked. And as I looked around the rest of the bar, I noticed that this seemed to be the case--men really weren't buying girls drinks! At all! This would never fly in NYC. It does help explain, though, this fellow's reluctance to buy a girl a drink, though, as he hailed from the San Francisco Bay Area as well. I guess it's a cultural thing.

I don't want to get into the debate of whether guys should be forced to buy girls drinks--we've had enough of that, I think, but it's interesting to see that in SF they just don't. God knows I'd be even more broke than my struggling actress income permits if I regularly had to buy my own drinks... It could be worse....

5 Comments:

At 12/29/2005 2:10 AM, Blogger FUNKYBROWNCHICK said...

The price of liquor and/or cocktails in NYC is criminal. I feel like I'm being robbed everytime I go out.

 
At 12/29/2005 2:19 AM, Anonymous datingirl said...

Yeah...SF isn't the place for a gentleman-like behavior. Everyone is just so 'cool' and 'successful' and guys don't need to behave well to get a girl's number...and maybe girls don't behave well either and aren't always the nicest to guys. Who knows. At any rate- you should truly take it as a huge compliment those guys offered to buy you a drink...and they probably think the same about you sticking around to speak with them. A win-win all around! :)

 
At 12/29/2005 8:40 AM, Blogger Kim said...

my ex was from sf, and also just from going there several times i noticed that guys there are just so passive and "laid back." i dont think they even think to take initiative like the guys in ny do. of course there are exceptions to every rule, but that's what i've seen.

 
At 12/29/2005 2:05 PM, Blogger -- said...

I know, right? Is it so much to ask a guy to, um, grow some, and take initiative?

Although the one guy did give Babette his email. But that's a copout. Shouldn't he be asking for HER #?

 
At 12/30/2005 12:12 PM, Blogger Monique said...

I've never really liked it when men buy my drinks (unless I'm interested in the guy). It always makes me feel obligated to talk to them.

 

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