The Rules of The Game
My first response to reading Neil Strauss's (aka Style) The Game was that of disgust. "Who are these guys?" I thought. I felt that all of these tactics were manipulative and wrong, despite the fact (or perhaps because of the fact) that I probably would fall for all of them.Then I met a real PUA (Pick Up Artist) in the flesh. Dolly and I called him out on his behavior, which was soooo much fun. Then she ended up getting coffee with him. Despite our knowledge of what was going on, she couldn't resist.
We both became fascinated by the pick-up community, to the point where we started reading their material, the online forums. So that we could be hip to their tricks.
And then it happened again. We ran into another PUA. This one set his sights on Sarah, and before you know it, they're making out (BTW, Sarah and the Manchild broke up--she hasn't posted in an age). Ummmmm, okay.
So it was clear to us, at this point, that even with our knowledge of what was going on, these PUAs were on to something.
What were they onto? The art of flirting, I like to say.
I had another date with the British Scientist last night (Round 2 Date 5, or Date 8). We still haven't had any contact more than a few kisses (This is a patient man!!!). But we had a great date. And as I reflected on my way home, I realized why. He was unconsciously employing many of the PUA techniques on me--and I loved it. He used several "negs" (these are teasing, negative statements, to disarm a girl, like telling her friends "is she always this unbearable?" in a cute, funny way). He was cocky funny. Basically he did what a PUA would do, without the routines. And I ate it up.
Now, I'm sure the Brit has not read The Game--and I'm sure he has no idea what a PUA is. But as we've gotten to know each other better, and gotten more comfortable, we've slipped into this teasing-flirting behavior. Which happens with any relationship, as it progresses, I think. The PUAs are only creating this behavior early on, and consciously. Is that bad? I don't think so.
posted by . @ 11:14 AM
14 Comments:
You know you are having a good time when the flirting starts and it feels like the temp goes up about 20 degrees.
What kinds of "negs" did he use? Just curious as to what this means?
Well, there has always been different levels of naturals I guess.
I find it funny that you changed your mind about PUAs after meeting one in person. It's like admitting PUAs know what girls want more than they do themselves.
Tadpoled: perhaps. But there's no way I'd sleep with him,, unless we're exclusive. If he'd rather go sleep with some other girl, that's fine by me. I'm looking for an LTR.
Anon: Nothing special, just little teasing remarks... I can't remember anything word for word, but it wasn't anything worth remembering, just throwaway conversation, but it worked.
Charlie Brown: I guess it depends what the PUA is after. I mean, all guys are after sex, but I think manipulating a girl to have sex with you is wrong. But getting a girl to be into you, then starting a relationship with her? Fine by me. I guess it depends what your game is. And if the girl wants to sleep with you, no strings attached, that's fine too.
Caaaaaaaaan yoooooooou feeeeeeel the luuuuuuuuuuv in the aiiiiiiiiiiiiiir!
/end Elton John
It's amazing to see this whole thing from a female POV. Really..it is..
Just some thoughts:
PUA's didn't invent the game, we just kind of discovered it...
All of the PUA techniques are modeled on the natural guys..like you said..and that's why this stuff works...there is a mating dance,coreographed by nature, and we just took the time to learn the dance..unlike the others..no biggie :)
Being able to vibe with a girl isn't a secret technique, it's just the product of someone who is confident, and socialy intelligent.
Being cocky and funny is just natural banter that makes sense when you like someone...
anyways. post on. i love the blog :)
Im going to show this post to my mom :p
Are you sure your scientist friend is playing the PUA game on you or is he just faking it? He may not even be aware of it.
BTW, the Game is an outstanding way for guys to hook up with women. However, to keep the women they want to be with, they have to unlearn some of those tactics.
Me being normal to a woman would not be how a PUA acts.
It's my hope that one day Pick Up will be readily accepted into the mainstream.
Although I gotta disagree with the manipulation thing.
"There are two types of people. People who manipulate and people who don't do it...well."
We're always trying to get ours whether we're conscious of it or not. Why hide it?
the game only works in Los Angeles where people are uneducated and stupid as most middle class americans are thus, even though the methods in Neil Strauss books and the such work to bed a california waitress it still will never work with a women in Monaco for instance. you might find that, the world of HB17s or so are not well reached this way anyway even with the advent of this system there is still only about six grand of PUAs alive which is quite what they've expected but, who cares for that anyway? ..
There's a new website that explains some NEW RULES. The rules of meeting and dating foreign women through international dating. I'm talking about Brazilian Women, Russian Women, Colombian Girls to name a few. Once you go foreign you never go back.
Check out:
http://www.ZakenAttraction.blogspot.com
Now it's not always like this, but if the PUA wants more than just a ONS, why wouldn't it be okay to run his game on someone? Yes, it is kinda lame to recite previously learned routines, but the idea of learning to be a PUA is after all learning to be the way girls would like you to be. So a PUA is nothing but a guy who worked hard on becoming a girl's dream BF.
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