Friday, March 03, 2006

The Rules of The Game

My first response to reading Neil Strauss's (aka Style) The Game was that of disgust. "Who are these guys?" I thought. I felt that all of these tactics were manipulative and wrong, despite the fact (or perhaps because of the fact) that I probably would fall for all of them.

Then I met a real PUA (Pick Up Artist) in the flesh. Dolly and I called him out on his behavior, which was soooo much fun. Then she ended up getting coffee with him. Despite our knowledge of what was going on, she couldn't resist.

We both became fascinated by the pick-up community, to the point where we started reading their material, the online forums. So that we could be hip to their tricks.

And then it happened again. We ran into another PUA. This one set his sights on Sarah, and before you know it, they're making out (BTW, Sarah and the Manchild broke up--she hasn't posted in an age). Ummmmm, okay.

So it was clear to us, at this point, that even with our knowledge of what was going on, these PUAs were on to something.

What were they onto? The art of flirting, I like to say.

I had another date with the British Scientist last night (Round 2 Date 5, or Date 8). We still haven't had any contact more than a few kisses (This is a patient man!!!). But we had a great date. And as I reflected on my way home, I realized why. He was unconsciously employing many of the PUA techniques on me--and I loved it. He used several "negs" (these are teasing, negative statements, to disarm a girl, like telling her friends "is she always this unbearable?" in a cute, funny way). He was cocky funny. Basically he did what a PUA would do, without the routines. And I ate it up.

Now, I'm sure the Brit has not read The Game--and I'm sure he has no idea what a PUA is. But as we've gotten to know each other better, and gotten more comfortable, we've slipped into this teasing-flirting behavior. Which happens with any relationship, as it progresses, I think. The PUAs are only creating this behavior early on, and consciously. Is that bad? I don't think so.

20 Comments:

At 3/03/2006 1:19 PM, Blogger AWE said...

You know you are having a good time when the flirting starts and it feels like the temp goes up about 20 degrees.

 
At 3/03/2006 2:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What kinds of "negs" did he use? Just curious as to what this means?

 
At 3/03/2006 3:38 PM, Blogger tadpoled said...

Patient? Or AFC? Hmmmmm. :)

 
At 3/03/2006 3:40 PM, Blogger Charlie Brown said...

Well, there has always been different levels of naturals I guess.

I find it funny that you changed your mind about PUAs after meeting one in person. It's like admitting PUAs know what girls want more than they do themselves.

 
At 3/03/2006 6:33 PM, Blogger -- said...

Tadpoled: perhaps. But there's no way I'd sleep with him,, unless we're exclusive. If he'd rather go sleep with some other girl, that's fine by me. I'm looking for an LTR.

Anon: Nothing special, just little teasing remarks... I can't remember anything word for word, but it wasn't anything worth remembering, just throwaway conversation, but it worked.

Charlie Brown: I guess it depends what the PUA is after. I mean, all guys are after sex, but I think manipulating a girl to have sex with you is wrong. But getting a girl to be into you, then starting a relationship with her? Fine by me. I guess it depends what your game is. And if the girl wants to sleep with you, no strings attached, that's fine too.

 
At 3/03/2006 8:36 PM, Blogger The Asian Playboy said...

Caaaaaaaaan yoooooooou feeeeeeel the luuuuuuuuuuv in the aiiiiiiiiiiiiiir!

/end Elton John

 
At 3/04/2006 12:00 AM, Anonymous Spitkicker said...

It's amazing to see this whole thing from a female POV. Really..it is..

Just some thoughts:

PUA's didn't invent the game, we just kind of discovered it...

All of the PUA techniques are modeled on the natural guys..like you said..and that's why this stuff works...there is a mating dance,coreographed by nature, and we just took the time to learn the dance..unlike the others..no biggie :)

Being able to vibe with a girl isn't a secret technique, it's just the product of someone who is confident, and socialy intelligent.

Being cocky and funny is just natural banter that makes sense when you like someone...

anyways. post on. i love the blog :)

 
At 3/04/2006 1:26 PM, Blogger Psyneh said...

Im going to show this post to my mom :p

 
At 3/08/2006 1:32 PM, Anonymous 728huey said...

Are you sure your scientist friend is playing the PUA game on you or is he just faking it? He may not even be aware of it.

BTW, the Game is an outstanding way for guys to hook up with women. However, to keep the women they want to be with, they have to unlearn some of those tactics.

 
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At 11/09/2006 7:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Me being normal to a woman would not be how a PUA acts.

 
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At 6/01/2009 1:13 PM, Anonymous Bolo said...

It's my hope that one day Pick Up will be readily accepted into the mainstream.

Although I gotta disagree with the manipulation thing.

"There are two types of people. People who manipulate and people who don't do it...well."

We're always trying to get ours whether we're conscious of it or not. Why hide it?

 
At 8/25/2009 7:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the game only works in Los Angeles where people are uneducated and stupid as most middle class americans are thus, even though the methods in Neil Strauss books and the such work to bed a california waitress it still will never work with a women in Monaco for instance. you might find that, the world of HB17s or so are not well reached this way anyway even with the advent of this system there is still only about six grand of PUAs alive which is quite what they've expected but, who cares for that anyway? ..

 
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At 9/25/2009 4:10 PM, Blogger milf said...

1。那混合物是更缓慢的 ... 但是 Lexus 的即将到来混合版本 ' 将是比气体气体更快的唯一的版本如好地有多马力。不要自夸速度,但是我被吸引轮流开送行为 90,是警察给我一次休息。
2。那不是很
... 只是通过在城市乘公交车往返我储蓄过来 $ 5000/yr 与我的以前的汽车,吉普车切诺基相比。超过 5 年,会是 $ 更不用说会进一步增强我的储蓄的最近的比率远足的 20K。这样除非你是在你的父母的地产上吸的一个浪费的儿子,你的声明是一束公牛。

 
At 9/25/2009 4:11 PM, Blogger milf said...

3. 45 (90 r/t)
45mpg 天是 2 我的车上> 8 加>>比。那每天是 6 >仑的一笔>蓄, 120 月, 1440 每年者 5040 (根 3.5 元/) ... 加上它发表 1/10th CO2。多愚蠢是它不要骑一个,去算进今天和年龄。
4.缺少了解 ... 是真的,实际上我个人这样那样喜欢它我可能享受所有鼓励;税,合伙用车,免费停车米, prius 业主之间的秘密的信号,等等;这样自私地说那我真地在那里在享受在所有气体汽车业主上的所有权那没有一个想法多少我这辆汽车有的嬉戏。我 junked 我的 SL,郊区对我的 Prius ... 你应该也。

 
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At 1/01/2011 12:55 PM, Anonymous Agel said...

Now it's not always like this, but if the PUA wants more than just a ONS, why wouldn't it be okay to run his game on someone? Yes, it is kinda lame to recite previously learned routines, but the idea of learning to be a PUA is after all learning to be the way girls would like you to be. So a PUA is nothing but a guy who worked hard on becoming a girl's dream BF.

 

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