Kristin's Rules of Order: Rule 2
After my horrific birthday expierience, I thought I had everything figured out. Sure, hooking up was okay-just don't sleep with the guy. Well two gentleman were waiting in the wings to prove me wrong.The first fellow I encountered while out with Sarah one night. We were at some wannabe trendy lounge off of Union Square, standing up (because there was no room to sit), apple martinis in hand, when a good-looking fellow approached us. After talking for a bit, he invited us to sit down at his table with his friends. I was seated next to a tall, handsome Russian actor, who was totally cute--and seemed totally into me. We spoke of his budding career, and when the night ended, and his friend offered to drive Sarah home, I accepted his offer to return to his place. No sex, but major hooking up ensued. I was completely baffled when I never heard from him again.
Our second fellow waiting to teach me this lesson was an unlikely candidate. He was the epitome of dorkyness. Tall, though, and relatively cute, and a good conversationalist. We met through a mutual friend at a group outing, and he plied me back to his apartment with the promise of an expensive vintage of wine. When I agreed, I got the impression that this tactic had NEVER worked before. We had a nice time, shared our sob stories, hooked up (of course). The best, though, was the looks of total shock on his roommates faces as he walked me out of his apartment the next morning. He didn't give me his number, but I fully expected him to call mine. I mean, really. He would never behave the way the Russian actor did--he would call, of course. He never did. I was heartbroken.
After that, well, I didn't really hook up with anyone 'till my relationship with Jersey Shore Boy began and ended and I met the Prospect & Footlong. Because I wasn't expecting anything from them, I was fine about it (and, of course, they DID call).
Rule 2: No hooking up with guys you actually expect to call you back.
posted by . @ 11:29 AM
6 Comments:
Even geeks have game in this city. I was lured back to a geeky guys place under the guise of "tea & conversattion". First date, I declined and went home. Second date, I called him out on his "maneuver" but accepted the invitation. We did have tea and conversation but after he called a car for me to head home he proceeded to grope and beg for me to stay. Said he only wanted to hold me...yeah, right...we've all been there girls. Needless to say, it was after him that I realized geeks too, have game.
Game can be over-rated. What happened to being a gentleman and seeing where the night went? Oh and girls, just enjoy being chased for a little while...
*sigh*
I still say that doing what feels right in the moment is the best. Honestly, if a guy is that concerned about a first night hookup, he's too insecure to be a good catch anyway. Here's the thing. Your Rules of Order are meant to put some control around your dating life. But honestly, it gives you no more control than if you just lived by what you wanted to do, when you wanted to do it. You say No hooking up with guys you actually expect to call you back, but what happens if the guy is put off by your demure actions and decides not to call you back?
Just live life, I say. You never know what could happen.
Good point. And, there's no guarantee that a guy will call you back even if you *don't* hook up ...
Trust me, it's better to have a guy who doesn't call after NOT hooking up than a guy who doesn't call AFTER hooking up. If I hook with a guy and he doesn't call, and I want him to? Then I'm devestated. If I DON'T hook up with a guy and he doesnt call and I want him to? Well, not so devestated.
I know there's no hard and fast rule (I guess) but I tend to think that it's best not to get too hooky too soon. It takes time to get to know someone, and unless you're just in it for the quick sex fix, what's the point of making yourself vulnerable, especially if you wind up feeling hurt?
I also think that if someone doesn't call you back because you didn't hook up, they are probably not worth it anyway.
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