Wednesday, August 24, 2005

is male chivalry dead?

this is something i often wonder about... when guys dont get up for women (old women, pregnant woman even) on the subway, when guys push you out of the way, when they watch you carry something heavy or when you're trying to put a bag overhead on an airplane giving yourself a hernia and they stare at your ass instead of lift a finger to help...
or the other day, when this guy about 10 feet ahead of me was being buzzed into my bldg, saw me, hands full of grocery bags, fumbling w/my keys, looking at him, acknowledging that i was going into the same bldg, and did not hold either of the 2 doors to my bldg open for me. then saw me give him a nasty look while he waited for the elevator and looked at me all confused. probably didn't even know what he done wrong...woman's lib and all, why am i complaining, right?
um?
cuz u're an AHOLE.
so waht did i do?
being the vindictive bitch i am, i proceeded to take the stairs (yes up 4 flights, w/heavy ass groceries in tow) and on each floor press the elevator button so as to make the douche bag "pay." feel my wrath douche bag.
am i nuts for being pissed at shit like this? am i the only one that even notices and is bothered w/this behavior?

just wondering...

21 Comments:

At 8/24/2005 10:39 PM, Blogger Damn It Anyway said...

My friends are always giving me crap about being the "boy scout". I've noticed a lack of common kindess here, women always look at me weird if I hold the door open for them at the grocery store/work/ect.

 
At 8/24/2005 10:50 PM, Blogger Kim said...

do they really? i find that bizarre. i would think they'd like the common courtesy..

 
At 8/24/2005 11:02 PM, Anonymous NYC Apartment said...

I've heard of one guy that refuses to open the door for women, because a women screamed at him once for opening the door for her, saying that she can do it herself. Feminism really doesn't help our cause sometimes.

 
At 8/25/2005 7:46 AM, Blogger Andrew said...

I try to do the right thing and open doors/let women go first....with one major exception: during the rush-hour on the trains and London Underground. Then it's all elbows and filthy looks.

Having said that I do offer my seat to women who look like they need it, but wouldn't do it just because she's female. She'd have to be elderly, frail, pregnant, with child/children.

I also have to admit to doing it because she was a complete babe. Hell - anything for a smile from a pretty girl!!

The worst thing that can happen (from the male point of view) is when a woman offers her seat to another woman before you spot the lady in need. All the men then sit there staring at their feet!

 
At 8/25/2005 7:49 AM, Blogger Sharon said...

I thought that, too. But then I got a happy surprise this week.

At work, they're going to be re-doing the ladies room on my floor - for FIVE WEEKS. We were all bitching about finding a new bathroom and having to travel to pee, and then we got an email from the head of our department yesterday (a guy) who said that since there are more women than men on the floor, the women can have the men's room, and the men will travel.

Chivalry? Maybe. But at least I don't have to take the elevator when I need the facilities!!

 
At 8/25/2005 8:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know you can always initiate the act of kindness by ask for help. A lot of men have been conditioned that "chivalry" is a sexist mind set from past encounters with women, and it is better to be asked for assistance than to blindly offer it. Otherwise, they might be the unlucky recipient of a hateful tirade from an "independent" woman.

 
At 8/25/2005 11:39 AM, Blogger Marsha said...

chivalry is not dead. There are a few who still practice this art. I have occassionally ran across a boy or a man who will lend a hand when needed. NOt long ago I watched my son assist an older lady put a bag of dog food into her car and then he put her basket away. I was actually proud of his thoughtfulness.

 
At 8/25/2005 11:48 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

I happen to be one of those "independent" women who don't appreciate "chivalry". I am totally capable of opening the door for myself and don't want to be treated differently because I'm a woman. This said, I am not opposed to common courtesy. You should always hold the door for the person behind you, regardless of their gender.

 
At 8/25/2005 11:52 AM, Blogger Damn It Anyway said...

Well, yeah, that's the point isn't it?
But I do notice people in NYC are usually shocked when I do anything that would be expected behavior in North Dakota.
I held the elevator door open for an extra 30 seconds for somone recently and he looked like I had a big red S painted on my chest.
In his defence I was wearing my superman underoos.

 
At 8/25/2005 3:41 PM, Blogger Crazy Girl City said...

According to my pals at the Cleveland Park Men's Club, chivalry is not dead. They always write about this stuff.

http://clevelandparkmensclub.blogspot.com/2005/08/on-road_24.html

 
At 8/25/2005 5:29 PM, Blogger Cleveland Park Men's Club said...

Chivalry is not dead.

Visit us for our tenth installment on this very aspect...our Best Practices.

Glad to see you drop by the CPMC...very lovely ladies you are.

 
At 8/25/2005 6:13 PM, Blogger Complacent Chase said...

I don't think chivalry is dead, but I do think it is in a coma.

 
At 8/25/2005 8:32 PM, Blogger Crazy Girl City said...

Well said Chase.

 
At 8/25/2005 10:06 PM, Blogger LA_Peacock said...

Looks like you might have to make a trip to Texas to see how real men treat ladies.... We will welcome you with open arms

 
At 8/25/2005 10:31 PM, Anonymous Dating said...

Chivalry is definitely dead. Sorry ladies. :)

 
At 8/26/2005 6:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's a difference between chivalry and common courtesy. I hate when you think your are being courteous and open a door for someone because their hands are full or let someone order first because you are not in a hurry and then being repaid with a scornful wrath of vituperations.

 
At 8/26/2005 10:26 AM, Blogger -- said...

Seriously? Women do that? That makes no sense....

 
At 8/26/2005 10:58 AM, Blogger Kim said...

yeah...leave it to a few women (or should i write womyn) to scare guys.. but then again guys are easily scared.
anyway, i'm independent, i'm all pro women's rights, yada yada, open the f-ing door for me i say.

 
At 8/27/2005 3:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

whoever said things women do are supposed to make sense?

 
At 8/27/2005 9:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kristin, seriously women do that.

 
At 2/29/2008 11:05 AM, Blogger angelnfreefall said...

I must be the luckiest woman alive- my man opens every door, carries my things, and treats me as if I'm fragile. He treats EVERY woman this way, because his mother raised him to do so. He endures the rudeness some of the men here complain of, and just smiles, because he KNOWS he's acting properly. Thank you, all the men and women who exhibit common courtesy in the face of rudeness.

 

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