Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Lunch Date


Our young heroine was getting nowhere with MacB. Things were perfect when they were alone together, but when they weren’t, well, let’s just say there was much to be desired. He hasn’t called, hasn’t written, except for a few short emails unworthy of a response. So she decided to date again. She wasn’t going to wait around for some stupid boy!

So she logged into match.com and started replying to the many emails she had gotten. One boy in particular seemed interested. He was 6’5”, more than tall enough for our tall young heroine, and had a cool job, working in TV news. Perhaps this was his passion, his dream. He seemed promising.

Due to our young heroine’s busy schedule, she only had time for a brief lunch date. He agreed, and plans were made. However, warning bells went off in her head when the date gave her ALL of his contact information. Home, cell, email, 3 IM names, you name it. But the plans had already been made. Nothing to be done now….

They were all set to meet outside her building at 1pm. But because of work circumstances beyond our young heroine’s control, she was nearly a half-hour late. She called to tell him of course, and he seemed fine with it. When she found him waiting outside her building, he had two single roses with him, which he quickly handed to her. “Uh oh,” she thought. “Roses, and he’s never met me before? This is one of Kim’s warning signals….” But he actually was pretty cute, so she hoped for the best.

They headed off to a nearby outdoor café. Of course the standard first questions had to be asked. “So, you said you work in TV news. Where do you work?” she asked. “Fox News,” he replied. Our young heroine has quite a bit of experience with Fox News. She used to work for the mega-corporation that owned Fox News and would work out in the Fox News gym on a daily basis, where all the TVs were permanently tuned to the very unfair and unbalanced channel (She has no problem with a channel that has a Republican agenda, but they should at least be honest about it). “The evil empire” she quipped, hoping he’d laugh. But he liked working there. And was a Republican to boot! Not a good sign.

But our heroine tries to be open-minded. She grew up in San Francisco after all. So this was not enough to eliminate him as a contender. However the date’s conversational skills seemed to be lacking. Over and over again, he would make a statement, our young heroine would interject, and the date would continue talking, as if she said nothing at all. This repeated pattern grew quickly wearing. And when he made a joke about how growing up in New York stunts your growth, she knew it was not meant to be. Our young heroine grew up in a city and plans to raise her children in Manhattan. A life in the suburbs is not for her (and, in fact, was a major part of her breakup with Jersey Shore Boy). His response to her standard first-date question, "what are you passionate about?"--The Philadelphia Eagles. Wrong answer.

The lunch ended, she offered to pay, but he took care of the check, like a proper gentleman. He walked her back to her office, and went in for the kiss. She gave him the cheek, of course, and was quite pleased with the smooth way she handled the situation. As she turned to go, her hand accidentally brushed against his crotch. Oh no. He had a raging hard on.

4 Comments:

At 8/24/2005 6:49 PM, Blogger Le Synge Bleu said...

aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!! that's like a nightmare date from hell! not only does he work for the lying liars (to borrow al franken's terminology) but he's been clearly brainwashed by them as well!

if he calls or im's again, i think you should tell him to get a modicum of self before he bothers knockin on your door.

well, at least its a funny story, right?

and i agree with you and kim, premature gifts have got to be compensation for a known lacking in other areas.

 
At 8/24/2005 8:02 PM, Blogger Kim said...

omg, that's it, i heard it all now. ahhhh run, run far away!
omg working for FOX NEWS. CRAZINESS!!!!
omg i dunno whether to laugh or cry...

 
At 8/24/2005 8:16 PM, Blogger Kim said...

oh btw, did u not email macb back? u see him tmrw, right? r u doing that cab thing?
i love how i'm planning all this anti-macb stuff and we dont even know if he's being "bad" yet....

 
At 8/25/2005 12:21 AM, Blogger -- said...

No, Luis said I have to be nice to him tomorrow. IF he shows up. And then be mean to him on Tuesday. We shall see....

 

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