Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Update on Hottie Roommate: We're Just Friends

Similar to MacB, Hottie Roommatehas been giving me mixed signals. We had a great time on our first date and he expressed interest in seeing me again. Though we have yet to go on a secound date, we have seen each other twice since our last date. Both of these meetings just kind of happened by chance and were clearly not dates. The first of these non-dates was a subway ride together. It was the weekend and I called him to ask if he wanted to go to the museum with me; he didn't answer his cell phone so I just left a message. When he called me back later that day, it so happened that we were in the same area and both heading home (we both live in the same neighborhood). I wanted to see him again, so I proposed that we take the subway together. He agreed and waited for me at the subway stop. I'm not sure whether he agreed because he wanted to or because he couldn't say no. But if he didn't want to see me again, why did he return my phone call? And if he did want to see me why was he so distant with me? He didn't hug me hello and was silent for most of the ride home. Why wasn't he making an effort to engage me in anyway? Why did he look so sad? I wanted to do something to draw him out of himself, but I didn't know what to do. I asked him if he wanted to go grab some dinner before heading home, but he declined saying that he wanted to be alone to think. Was that some excuse to get rid of me or did he really have a lot on his mind? If he wanted to get away from me and not see me again why did he walk me home? And why did he say he would call me soon. Maybe he was just trying to be nice. I don't really understand nice guys. I much rather prefer honest guys over nice guys.

A couple of days after the subway ride, I ran into hottie roommate again at Kristin's place. He walked in on our drunken dinner party and decided to join the revelry. At the end of the night he and I were left alone on the couch. Instead of making-out, like we did a few weeks when we were in the same situation, this time he moved his face so I got his cheek when I leaned in to kiss him. I didn't need any more signs. Though I have no idea exactly going on in his mind, I know that his not completely interested. I also know that his mixed signals, his on and off behavior confuses and depresses me. I don't want the uncertainty. Analyzing and trying to decode his actions precludes me from having any fun. I'm more interested in enjoying myself and getting to know someone new than I am in landing a boyfriend. Thus, I asked him if he would like to be friends. I think that what's he wanted all along, because he quickly replied yes. I'm glad I asked the question. I know precisely what he's interested in and I'm looking forward to spending sometime with him without worrying about what it all means.

5 Comments:

At 8/23/2005 5:24 PM, Blogger andy said...

i found myself in an almost entirely identical situation last year. my take on this all-too familiar scenario: this guy's not as into it as you are. which isn't to say that he's not interested in you at all, but despite the fact that nothing really serious happened between you two and there's really no logical reason for him to be all weird, this might be yet another guy who has fallen victim to the oh-shit-i-don't-know-how-i-feel-about-this-girl syndrome.

 
At 8/23/2005 6:14 PM, Anonymous datingirl said...

Ok- if that works, I'll need a How To manual...

 
At 8/23/2005 8:56 PM, Blogger Kim said...

i think it's prob for the best. he's just getting his divorce finalized, plus he's moving away. his emotions are prob all over the place. at least u know where u stand now so that's good....though i have to admit i'm sad that there won't be any hottie roomate sex =/

 
At 8/24/2005 12:19 AM, Blogger Cynthia said...

Sorry I've been MIA. School is in full effect.

I agree with Kim. He is going through a lot with his wife and his upcoming move.

 
At 8/24/2005 8:53 AM, Blogger Kim said...

how is school going cynthia?! i've been meaning to email u.

 

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