Monday, August 08, 2005

Waiting for the Phone to Ring....

Ug, I'm all annoyed right now. I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I thought Cynthia and I were going to go to the gym, but of course, I can't wake up on my own, and most people have better things to do in the morning besides wake me up.

Basically, on Saturday I had a really romantic night with MacB. It was his birthday and after all his friends left we just held hands and walked around the city, talking and kissing as the mood struck us. For 5 hours! The sun was up when I got home, I had to put a sleeping mask on.

So, cuz he's sweet he called the next day, but during my show (did he do that so he wouldn't have to talk to me?). I called back, he didn't pick up, left a message. No call yet at this point.

Yes, I know he seems really into me, and whatever, but I guess I feel unsure about things. We have still yet to go out on an actual date, and between his busy schedule and mine, it looks unlikely that that's ever going to happen. Grrr. And I hate this waiting, waiting, waiting, hoping he'll call, obsessively checking my email, etc. My mental energy is totally focused on this and I can't think about anything else.

That's the one thing I miss about having a boyfriend. At least you (almost) always know where you stand--all that crap has been worked out already. Though the feelings that come with this whole new relationship stuff are great (the looking into each others eyes, the butterflies in the stomach, the thrill each time he reaches over to touch you), they also come with some not-so-great ones--uncertainty and doubt.

I've held off contacting any of my other boys--waiting for this to play out. Perhaps I should follow my own advice and go out on some other dates? At least I wouldn't feel so powerless. But with my show schedule, I don't have the time! Grrrrrrr.

7 Comments:

At 8/08/2005 3:34 PM, Blogger Cynthia said...

I tried to wake you up! But, I didn't end up going to the Gym either if that makes you feel better.

Going out with another boy will not "take the edge off" the MacB situation. You will just be on an OK date and wishing you were with MacB anyway. There is no substitute for that connection.

 
At 8/08/2005 3:40 PM, Blogger -- said...

You did? I didn't realize I was so dead to the world. I purposely did not sleep in the nude so you'd be able to awaken me. Oh well.

I don't know, sometimes going out with other boys is at the least distracting. But I saved MacB's message, and listened to it again just now, and feel better. He sounds all cute and happy in it--I can't imagine things would have changed in less than 24 hours...

 
At 8/08/2005 3:45 PM, Blogger Kim said...

aw, dont worry yet. he's prob catchign up on his sleep since u tired him out so much! i do think going out w/other boys is a good idea though. this thing w/macB sounds really heavy and i dont think it's good to jump into it right away. i think u should enjoy the free time, have fun, get away from the phone, meet boys who try to persuade you to take e =P and have lots of laughs. dont let him control your emotions.

 
At 8/08/2005 3:48 PM, Blogger -- said...

Kim, sometimes I think you give the opposite advice of Cynthia just to confuse me.

;)

 
At 8/08/2005 3:58 PM, Blogger Kim said...

hehe no, but that's how you operate. everyone has diff't things that work for me, and i think what works for you is dating a lot of ppl.

 
At 8/08/2005 4:25 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

Even if there is no substitution for the connection that you feel with MacB, you can still go out and enjoy yourself with someone else. As you yourself said, going out with other boys is at the least is distracting.

 
At 8/09/2005 10:36 AM, Blogger -- said...

Okay, the Prospect wants to go to dinner this week. That'll be distracting.

 

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