Grow Some Testicles

The End

2006-03-18T09:16:00.000-05:00

Dear readers,

I had a fabulous time in Jamaica. Relaxing, fun, wonderful. Sarah and Kim and I just sat on the beach for 5 days and did absolutely nothing. It was great! Unfortunately I don't have any exciting boy stories for you--there was only 1 single guy on the entire resort, and aside from the requisite flirting from the male staff, I don't have anything to report.

But now, I think, it's time for Grow Some to come to an end. I hope not to lose any of you, dear readers, so please join me at my new blog. Please update your links. I'll miss you, grow some!!!!

Jamaica!!!

2006-03-11T20:37:00.000-05:00

Sarah, Kim, and I are leaving for Jamaica first thing tomorrow morning. We'll be gone till Friday. Come back then, though, I'll have an important announcement about the future of this blog then, 'kay?

I'll miss you guys!!!!

Lock and Key and Notepassing

2006-03-11T13:00:00.000-05:00

So, the total lack of communication from my Brit has made it clear that I need to move on. And what better way to do that than by joining Dolly at Moxie's Lock and Key party?

We had fun, but boy, was it crowded! Typical open bar event, everyone scrambling to get a drink, no one could get to the bar. Once the lock and key part started, though, it was very fun. An interesting crowd, though. Everything from older suits to younger B&T types, and everything in between. There were at least 3 love (or at least hookup) connections that I witnessed--there were some drunken young ladies hanging on some satisfied looking fellows. Of course those pairs left together. The "lock and key" process was fun, but many of the guy's keys opened more than one lock. It was an easy way to talk to people, and escape people you didn't want to talk to. I felt like the Belle of the Ball. All the guys were telling me how desirable I was all night, definitely something I needed to hear this week, after the fiasco with the Brit.

It was weird, though, with Dolly--whenever we go out together, all the guys we meet seem, initially, to be equally attracted to both of us. As Dolly said last night: "We're like Designer Impostors. If you like Dolly, try Kristin!" We laughed. But since Dolly (in her own words) is a bit more aggressive (I tend to stand back, a bit, and let the guy pursue.... I'm old-fashioned, so sue me) she always ends up getting the guy (but I do just fine, too, so don't worry about me). After the lock and key we ended up going out to dinner with two friends that were there. I thought one was cute, but both were equally flirting with me. However, Dolly thought the other one was cute, and I was convinced that as soon as he started talking to her, he'd go for her (hey, it's happened every other time we go out--why would last night be any different?). They totally hit it off, too, so it seemed to be the case. Yet, at the end of the night, he ended up asking me if we could go out again--and we didn't really talk much! How strange. But I think his friend is cuter, and more my type. Aii. All 4 of us exchanged business cards, so we shall see what we shall see.

As Dolly and I headed off to the subway, we walked by a diner, where a cute guy was sitting alone (no wedding ring either!). We thought it was someone we knew, but nope, it wasn't. At this point, we attract his attention, two girls staring at him through the diner window? How strange. Dolly decides she's going to pull "Hot Actor Part 2." She wrote my name and # on a note and handed it to him. He turned around and looked at me, I blushed. The guy behind the counter motioned me in, and Dolly took off, leaving me there alone! Cute guy and I shared a few questions--mostly me asking him stuff... "What do you do?" "what are you doing here alone at midnight on a Friday" etc. He asked me what I was up to, I said "going home" and he said, "Well, I have your #, I'll call you." I said "sure...." and said goodbye and left. Ug.

This morning my phone had a text message. Kristin you shouldn't have left, wanted to buy you a drink. Is it him???? I hope so. He was pretty cute...

Blogger Happy Hour?

2006-03-10T12:06:00.000-05:00

Soooo last night, Dolly and I met up with Elle and Snob. Sooooo much fun!!!! We totally had a blast, three blondes and a brunette wandering around the Village and the LES.

The other bloggers I've met through this site, Damn It Anyway and Larissa are also so much fun, and everyone in NYC has expressed jealousy of the tight-knit DC blogging circle, so I figured it's about time we had an event of our own.

I'm sending out evites now. Mark your calendars for Thursday, March 23. If you don't get an evite, shoot me an email and I'll hook you up!

Moving?

2006-03-08T14:16:00.000-05:00

So, I've been thinking a lot lately, about the blog and how it's gotten me into so much trouble. Part of me wants to just stop, but then I get wonderful comments and such support from you people, that I can't say goodbye!

So here's what I want to do:

The other three "grow some" girls aren't posting anymore, so this has really become an outlet for me alone. But all their posts are here, in the archives, so I don't feel comfortable "taking over" this blog either...

I think I need to start fresh. Start a new blog, that it won't be the end of the world if people find it. Focus on other aspects of my life as well, not just dating--I never share much about my acting life, because I don't want people to put two and two together. But it'll still be anonymous enough that I won't be paranoid about posting my thoughts.

What do you think? Any ideas for a new title?

Boyfriend for 15 Minutes?

2006-03-06T17:04:00.000-05:00

Everyone knows Andy Warhol's famous quote: "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." Well, apparently my karma guarantees that I can only have a boyfriend for fifteen minutes.

No, nothing's been resolved with the British Scientist. I hadn't heard anything from him, but was feeling positive today, called him to say hi. I assumed I would just leave a message but he picked up. "Hi! It's me. How are you, I was just thinking about you! Ran into a scientist today and thought of you." We both talked about nothing. Then I told him that he "seemed down" the last time I spoke to him--but he assured me he was feeling better. 5 more minutes of fluff-talk. I couldn't take any more so I said, "Well, just wanted to check in... let me know if you want to get together sometime." He said he would let me know, that we'd be in touch.

Not what I wanted to hear.

I feel like I have no closure on this thing. Dolly wants to go with me to a lock and key party on Friday. The Classical Musician, out of nowhere, emailed me this today: I would like to see you again...do you have any time this week? (not sure what THAT'S about). I just got an email saying I could go to speed dating for free tonight. Not that any of these things appeal to me all that much, at this point, but they would certainly take my mind off my current situation. But no, I'm in limbo.

This is the second 15-minute relationship I've had. I think I'm cursed.

Cue flashback.

The Poet was the big love of my life. He's the Manchild's best friend. We met while out one night, during a period when the Manchild and Sarah were broken up. The Poet and I totally had a connection—we were talking and joking all night. Then we all got too drunk (the story of my life) and Sarah and The Poet ended up making out. So I started making out with the Manchild. Lovely.

The Poet tried to get Sarah to go home with him, but she refused. Imagine my surprise, then, when the Poet called to ask me out two weeks later (I had not given him my number). Against my better judgment, I agreed (The Poet is super hot), and he spent the next 3 months courting me, going out with me roughly every other week.

Things progressed. He invited me first to a slam poetry competition, and then I started going to see him perform every week. We were seeing each other 2-3x a week. We began sleeping together. I thought we were soul mates. Then he gave me the best compliment ever—after getting cast in a show, we met up for drinks. I was so excited, I couldn’t stop talking. Finally I paused. He grabbed my hand and said “Your enthusiasm, your excitement about your new show. It’s beautiful to watch.” My heart melted.

He followed this up with the suggestion that we go away together for the 4th of July. But we still hadn’t had The Talk. I was feeling confident, in control. This amazing compliment followed by boyfriend noises? Surely this would go well.

It didn’t. He couldn’t commit. It was too big a deal for him, he argued, even though he wasn’t seeing anyone else. He’d never “officially” had a girlfriend (not a good sign—he was 25 at the time). He felt that once he committed to having a girlfriend, he would have to marry this person. I tried to explain that it’s not THAT big a deal, but he wouldn’t hear it. Fine, subject changed.

We continued the evening, went to eat, had an okay time. I was clearly sad. As we were leaving to share a cab, we walked down the street, he grabbed my hand. “Okay, I’ll be your boyfriend,” he said.

I was ecstatic. We began to kiss, softly, romantically. The man of my dreams, and now he’s my boyfriend? I was in bliss.

We got in the cab and as we headed uptown, he promptly began to freak out. This was too big a deal for him, he said. I told him my goal was not to make him freak out, that if he needed to take it back, he could take it back. He took it back.

We still dated for a few weeks after that, I tried to keep an open mind. But when he told me that his married ex-girlfriend was coming to town, would be staying at his apartment, and they’d probably end up having sex, that was the final straw.

I still think to myself that I was such an idiot for going out with him in the first place. I shouldn’t have given him a chance. Anyone that says they have such a connection with you, and ends up trying to take home your friend? Not someone you should date.

I should have saved myself the trouble.

We dated for 6 months, but he was only my boyfriend for 15 minutes.

Boyfriend Limbo

2006-03-05T15:05:00.000-05:00

I had a horrible night last night with the Brit. A disaster of a date. Ug.

It started out well enough. We meet up, head down to chinatown. He'd never been down there. We walk around, get some dumplings and tea, look at everything. Get offered fake bags like 200 times. We're having fun, we're walking through Little Italy, then head up to the village. Stop at McSorleys for a beer. He's impressed by my knowledge of pubby NYC bars. He makes some joke about going home with him--well, kinda. I get uncomfortable, blush, turn pink, but am not knocking the idea. We both agree we need to drink more.

We walk some more and end up in this German restaurant on 3rd Avenue. We're having more drinks, sitting at the bar, laughing. Having a great time. Teasing more. He mentions something about when were dating before, like in September--we have a disagreement about the timing. I tell him I keep a journal, I'll check the timing. He says "You don't have a journal. You have a blog." Haha, I laugh. "Sure I do," I say, referring to the "public" blog I keep that everyone knows about. "No," he says. "You have a dating blog."

At this point I think I begin to hyperventilate. The bartender seems to notice that I don't look happy. I down my glass of wine, and order another. The Brit handles this very well, though, tells me he's never read it, that one of his friends had found it, back in September, when we were dating before. Tells me what his nickname is, which confirms that it's the right blog. He assures me that he won't read it. Tells me that everything will be fine. It takes him about an hour to calm me down. When he takes a bathroom break, the bartender asks if I'm in trouble--and I tell him the situation. "Uh oh," he says.

Of course, my solution to everything is to drink more. (Regular readers will remember that this solution almost always ends in disaster for me. You'd think I'd learn.) Exclusivity is discussed, and agreed to. ("Yippee!" I think. "I have a BF!!") But then all the extra alcohol kicks in. Basically we both get too drunk, and I tell him all my deep dark secrets. Nothing too horrible, but it was waaaaaaaay too early to share that kinda stuff with him. And then, of course, I can't stop referring to the bartender as "the cute bartender" and of course, that annoys the Brit. We end up having a mini argument, but he clears things up. "This is our first argument," he jokes. But yet, we can't seem to recover from everything I said. We left things very up in the air. Still nothing physical between us. I'm not sure he ever wants to see me again--and of course, he's probably reading this now.

Larissa's post today is all about the good and bad of keeping a blog. For me the bad has been far outweighing the good. I've met some fabulous new people because of it, including Larissa herself, and it's been great to have an outlet for my thoughts and feelings. But the anonymity thing isn't working. This will be the 3rd guy that I've dated that's found the damn thing--and no one I'm dating needs to know every thought in my head--I sure wouldn't want to know theirs! Perhaps it's time for me to retire?

The Rules of The Game

2006-03-03T11:14:00.000-05:00

My first response to reading Neil Strauss's (aka Style) The Game was that of disgust. "Who are these guys?" I thought. I felt that all of these tactics were manipulative and wrong, despite the fact (or perhaps because of the fact) that I probably would fall for all of them.

Then I met a real PUA (Pick Up Artist) in the flesh. Dolly and I called him out on his behavior, which was soooo much fun. Then she ended up getting coffee with him. Despite our knowledge of what was going on, she couldn't resist.

We both became fascinated by the pick-up community, to the point where we started reading their material, the online forums. So that we could be hip to their tricks.

And then it happened again. We ran into another PUA. This one set his sights on Sarah, and before you know it, they're making out (BTW, Sarah and the Manchild broke up--she hasn't posted in an age). Ummmmm, okay.

So it was clear to us, at this point, that even with our knowledge of what was going on, these PUAs were on to something.

What were they onto? The art of flirting, I like to say.

I had another date with the British Scientist last night (Round 2 Date 5, or Date 8). We still haven't had any contact more than a few kisses (This is a patient man!!!). But we had a great date. And as I reflected on my way home, I realized why. He was unconsciously employing many of the PUA techniques on me--and I loved it. He used several "negs" (these are teasing, negative statements, to disarm a girl, like telling her friends "is she always this unbearable?" in a cute, funny way). He was cocky funny. Basically he did what a PUA would do, without the routines. And I ate it up.

Now, I'm sure the Brit has not read The Game--and I'm sure he has no idea what a PUA is. But as we've gotten to know each other better, and gotten more comfortable, we've slipped into this teasing-flirting behavior. Which happens with any relationship, as it progresses, I think. The PUAs are only creating this behavior early on, and consciously. Is that bad? I don't think so.

2006-03-03T02:07:00.000-05:00

Just got home from a date with the Brit. Details to come!

Village Voice

2006-03-02T19:27:00.000-05:00

So by now most of you have heard about the Village Voice scandal today. No?

The cover story in this week's issue was all about PUAs--a subject Dolly and I are both obsessed with now, after reading The Game and running into quite a few PUAs when we've been out. Well it seems that when discussing one of our famous nights out, Dolly's blog was quoted (I'm mentioned too--as all of you know, she calls me "Polly" on the blog). Exciting right? Yeah, but it seemed strange to both of us. Why not just email her, to make sure the story they quoted was true? Why not email her to see if she had any other stories? It seemed a bit odd, but still, to have your blog in the Voice --what a coup!

Okay, well, it turns out, according to Gawker, Dolly wasn't the only source not contacted. It turns out whole portions of the story are MADE UP (both Dolly and I thought so -- we're the only girlies we know that are hip to the PUA tricks, and Sarah now, too, because she's hooked up with one, and has borrowed my copy of The Game).

To make matters worse, Dolly pitched a similar story directly to the editor of the VV about 6 weeks ago (yes, I've seen the email, I can attest to the truthfulness of this statement). What's going on over there?

But the good news? Dolly's blog is now getting a ton of attention--her hits per day have doubled. We've always joked and laughed about writing a female response to the game--it looks like with all this attention, Dolly's going to get her chance!!!! Go Dolly!

Stop Me....

2006-03-02T16:59:00.000-05:00

How does one stop from being neurotic? I hadn't heard from the Brit after my text message last night--and so of course I'm assuming I'm getting stood up. Of course, he messages a few moments later. I thought I was past neuroses with him. *sigh* It never ends.

Tired....

2006-03-01T19:35:00.000-05:00

So, I didn't hear from my Brit all day Sunday. Oh no!! I was checking my email constantly, but I didn't hear a word. *sigh*

Of course I get an email at 11pm telling me that he just checked his email. Ug. I'm sure he thought I was standing him up, which is so not true..

Anyways, we're on for tomorrow night. I can sorta walk again, so that's good. We'll see.....

I promise I'll start posting interesting things again soon! Have just been going through a lot this week. I'm tired....

Ouch!

2006-02-26T17:56:00.000-05:00

My weekend? Consisted of this. That night I lost my phone (call me, people, I don't have any of your phone #s) and twisted my ankle. It's all swollen now, so I can't go out. Ug.

Saturday night Clark Kent called. At 8pm. To invite me to meet him and a few friends at 9:30. He left a message. I haven't responded yet. What is this behavior? I'm sorry, I'm not looking for a fuck buddy. Clearly he doesn't want to really date me, or he'd give me some notice. And who randomly has no plans on a Saturday night? (Well, me, but I can't walk, gimme a break).

So, I don't have the Brit's phone #. So I emailed him last night, telling him I can't walk so our walk around Chinatown will have to be cancelled, and to get in touch, I don't have his #. He hasn't. Aii! I hope he doesn't think I've stood him up....

Brit Scientist -- Round 2, Date 4

2006-02-24T01:45:00.000-05:00

Our young heroine set off for her fourth date with the British Scientist since they began seeing each other again (total dates: 7). They exchanged text messages all day and decided to meet at PJ Clarke's at 7:15. At 7pm, she's getting ready to leave her office, when her phone rings. It's the British Scientist. Huh? "He never calls," she thought. "I don't think he's called me once since I've met him. Huh?" When she picked up, the Brit said he was early and PJ Clarke's was too crowded--could they meet across the street? She said sure. Of course, now she's running late, she still had to fix her makeup, get money--how stressful.

She arrived, breathlessly, at 7:25. "Sorry I'm late," she cooed. "It's been a tough day." They decided to walk around to try to find a place to eat. She suggested a tapas place, but the Brit didn't seem that interested. But when they walked by an Indian place, his eyes lit up. "Would you fancy a curry?" he said. "Sure," she replied, and in they went.

They shared a lovely dinner, with Naan and Saag Panir (Kristin's favorite!). No awkward pauses this time--she talked about her acting program, he of his work, the conversation flowed effortlessly, for the first time since they started seeing each other again. When dinner ended, it was too soon to go home, so she thought it would be a good idea to head to Serendipity. It was just around the corner after all. "It won't be so full of tourists at 10 on a Thursday, will it?" she said. And indeed, it wasn't. They had only a 45 minute wait (anyone who knows Serendipity knows that 45 minutes is nothing), which they killed by wandering around the neighborhood, window shopping, arms linked. Thankfully it was a warm winter night. The Brit began to ask about her hard day, and got her to reluctantly confess some personal issues she's been having as late--and then, after sympathizing appropriately, he offered some truly amazing, and simple advice. Very nice.

At Serendipity, the frozen hot chocolates were amazing. At this point the Brit began to make boyfriend noises.
"How does your weekend look? Can I see you Sunday?" (making plans while on a date? Always a good sign).
Later:
"I don't think we see each other that often."
"Well, we see each other practically every Sunday," Kris replied.
"But I miss you during the week," he said. "Don't you miss me?"
"Uh... yeah!" she replied.
And again:
"I've always wanted to eat at <>."
"We'll go!"
And again:
"I wish our country had free health insurance."
"Well, we could always go back to the UK." (semi-joking)
And again:
"We're still going away to Boston for the weekend, right?"

Though Kristin is very familiar with boyfriend noises (Clark Kent was making some, as did Karaoke Boy--both, clearly, unfulfilled) somehow these seemed more genuine.

They finished their dessert and prepared to part. The Brit, very gentlemanly, insisted on accompanying Kristin the 6 long blocks to her subway station crosstown. They shared some lovely kisses, and he made the suggestion that they could, on Sunday, go to his place and "fool around." (This is the first mention or pressure for sexual anything EVER with him. After 4 dates? That's totally unheard of.) Kristin giggled. Well, the fellow certainly had been more than patient with her--perhaps she would see, depending on how their date Sunday went.

What a surprising evening!

Another One Bites the Dust

2006-02-21T20:07:00.000-05:00

....so, it appears that my short lived romance with Clark Kent will remain that: short-lived. After he cancelled our Wednesday Political Discussion Group date, I haven't heard from him, other than a 12:30 am Saturday night text message, asking if I was out. I was not, and replied to that effect. If, as he said, the discussion group was tomorrow, surely I would have heard from him by now, to reconfirm? Ah well, I have plans with Dolly tomorrow anyway.

I always wonder what happened with these things. How someone goes from the insistent "I'm gonna call" to nothing at all. I have only one theory, and it's a bit far-fetched. When I did a friendster search on dear Clark Kent, it turned out we were connected--through The Prospect(!!!!). Of course, now that friendster shows you who's been looking at your profile, he caught me, and asked how I knew The Prospect. I told him that we had dated, once upon a time. Apparently Clark had sent an email to The Prospect asking about me. He told me this on Saturday. I wonder if The Prospect responded? I wonder what he said? I have a feeling The Prospect knows about this blog--did he share this information with Clark Kent himself? I suppose I'll never know. Most likely he didn't respond, or his response was innocuous. I told you my theory was far-fetched.

Anyone hear anything about chemistry.com? I read an article about it in The Atlantic, and now I'm intrigued. Maybe I'll check that out, to get some new prospects?

In other news, the British Scientist is hanging on--we have another date scheduled for Thursday (tentatively). And I've exchanged some text messages with the 3AM Subway Guy, so that might pan into something. Back in the game....

Bad Polly

2006-02-17T12:32:00.000-05:00

Okay, Dolly insisted I put up this story immediately, so here goes:

It's Saturday night. 3AM. Blizzard. I just ended my very nice date with Clark Kent, and am waiting to transfer trains in the West 4th subway station. I see a semi-cute tall guy, that appears to be about my age. I smile. He smiles back. We position ourselves near each other. The train comes. He sits next to me on the train, smiles.
"Did you have trouble getting a cab too?"
"Oh were you on the LES?"
"East Village."
"No cabs there either, huh?"
"Nope. I'm <> by the way."
"Kristin."
"Well, nice meeting you Kristin. Where are you headed?"
I tell him my stop.
"Oh, I live at 14th and 8th. Oh, this is my stop! I wish we could chat more.... that is, unless you want to get a nightcap with me?"
My inital reaction was to say no, but then I thought of the Year of Yes, and figured what the hey. This could be The One. So, we get off the train at 14th Street and crawl through the snow to grab one last drink. He paid. We had a nice chat about music (he works in the music industry), the bar closed, I played in the snow with him for a bit, headed to the subway. He pushed for me to go home with him, of course, but I demurred. We exchanged numbers, but not saliva. He called.

I don't know if I should call him back--I don't get the feeling he's the One... oh, but I should give him a chance, right?

How funny is that?!? It's all about the smile, and good positioning....

The Clark Kent Story

2006-02-17T10:50:00.000-05:00

Okay, I know I've been remiss on posting about Clark Kent, so here are all the details:

We Meet.

First Date: Last Thursday (a week ago today), we meet up by Union Square. His reasoning? Let's have one night we don't spend on the LES--A good idea, I think. However, we had both forgotten the throngs of NYU students that crowd every local bar on Thursdays (I should have known better, I mean, I went to NYU!!). But we fought the crowds and ended up at this really cool bar, where we ended up talking and making out till the wee hours. Before we said goodbye, he asked if we could get together Saturday--and I agreed.

Second Date: Saturday night. Again, a bar crawl on the LES. Went to a cool place I'd never heard of, and ended up at "the place we met" (his suggestion). How cute is that? We closed off the night at his fav watering hole, where he introduced me to all his friends there (good sign!!). It was pouring down snow at this point, so there were no cabs, so we kissed goodbye in the subway station. It was a lot of fun, but--and I've never had this happen before--he criticized my kissing style!!! He was questioning the fact that I wasn't grabbing him, that my hands were staying to myself. I told him I didn't really know him that well, so I didn't really feel comfortable being so aggressive... which is true. However it made all our kissing attempts after this very very awkward--we were both waaaaaay too conscious of everything.

This week: He called to invite me to a discussion group he's a member of, on Wednesday. (Good sign, again, meeting his friends??) However it seems the meeting is NEXT Wednesday, so he ended up canceling. No word from him since--I hope he's not doing the fade, but it's quite possible... It always seems to happen at/near the 3rd date for me....

So that's the story. Obviously we didn't hang out on Vday--and he didn't mention it (nor did I). Though I can't really blame him, I mean, clearly it's too soon for that stuff. Though I talked to Jersey Shore Boy, and apparently he had a very nice 1st date(!) on Vday. Too much pressure, I say...

Best. Valentine's. Ever.

2006-02-15T16:06:00.000-05:00

So, last night. Dolly and I had planned a get together for singles--I didn't want to be alone and depressed on Valentine's Day, so I invited some choice single friends to come out with us on the Lower East Side. I was nervous about the turnout, but we had a perfect group--a perfect balance of girls and guys--and a fair number of bloggers! Other than me and Dolly, we had Teacup and Damn It Anyway. The Founding Member was there, and Sarah (she and the Manchild broke up right after New Year's) and a few other friends as well. We had a blast.

We started out at Max Fisch, everyone's fav LES watering hole. It was great to be there on a weekday--it wasn't obnoxiously packed like it is on the weekends. Everyone sat around and chatted and bonded--we did a fair amount of complaining, but it was all in good fun. There were no couples to be found--which was great for our mood. The real fun started, though, when we got to some pretentious place that wouldn't let us sit down unless we got bottle service (no one was there, so the tables were wasted). BUT, they had an open bar for women from 9-10. There were tons of cute single girls there for the boys in our group, and all our girls were more than happy with the free booze. I had a moment of great happiness and clarity: I've been feeling so alone and miserable these past few months, like I'm the only single person in the world. Seeing these great people surrounding me, all single, all smart, successful, and wonderful people made me so proud. Proud to be single. Proud to have friends like these. Proud that Dolly and I organized such a successful event. I was truly truly happy--probably the first time I have been so completely happy since I kissed MacB.

So thanks, y'all. This Valentine's Day meant a whole lot more to me than the expensive gifts and dinners I've had in years past. This day of bitterness still ended up being a day of love for me: love for the fabulous people I have in my life.

Obligatory Valentine's Day post

2006-02-14T11:37:00.000-05:00

Soooo, today's the day. The day when couples all over NYC will be cramming into every restaurant. The day when walking down the street you see almost every girl holding either roses or some stupid stuffed animal. The day when couples walk hand in hand through the snow.

Bah humbug.

Strangely enough, though, I've actually been looking forward to it. Dolly and I made plans to hang out with a few singles tonight on the Lower East Side. It should be fun. Anyone game? Shoot me an email, and if you're nice, you'll get an invitation....

Snow Day....

2006-02-12T20:30:00.000-05:00

Every BF I've ever had has been totally annoyed by my fascination with snow. They're all east coasters, and couldn't understand how a few snowflakes would get me so excited. I'm sorry, but that's what happens when you see snow, like, NEVER, once every 5 years if you're lucky. That's Cali for ya.So, when the British Scientist text messaged, asking me if I wanted to go play in the snow with him, how could I resist?

The British Scientist, you ask? The same British Scientist who disappeared nearly 5 months ago? Yes, indeed. After my "Happy New Year" text message trick, we started text messaging again, and met up for drinks last week, and a Sunday museum/tea date last week. He's now right back in The Rotation.

So we met up, in the nearly 3 feet of snow in Central Park. So much Fun!!!!! We ended up getting into a knock-down drag out in the middle of Bethesda Fountain. The park was gorgeous today. Everyone was out and in a great mood. Everyone was sledding, skiing, making snowmen, you name it. I couldn't help but think that this is what the planners of Central Park envisioned so many years ago.

I dunno, I'm still quite enamored of Clark Kent (I'll fill you in soon, I swear), but this was a super fun way to spend a snowy Sunday....

So Much for the Classical Musician...

2006-02-11T15:40:00.000-05:00

So, it has been beyond difficult to make plans with the Classical Musician. We've had a date 2 scheduled twice, but it has been postponed twice. We're both to the point where it seems we'll only be able to make same day plans.

Thursday night I have my date with Clark Kent (more on that later). The Classical Musician texts me, asking if we could meet up that night, at 10:30. I tell him I have plans. He replies "pretty please" and I tell him I'll text him if I get out early (I did not).

So Friday night, I text him.

Kristin: What about tonight?
CM: Are you up for hanging out at my place? I will have been gone all day.
Uh. Okay. I've been on one drinks date with this guy. I hardly know him. Not the time to be going up to his apartment. Sooo, I decide to ignore this request.
K: I'll be in the meatpacking dist... Wanna meet there?
CM: Oh you have plans?
K: For dinner. When are you free?
CM: At 10:30. Probably not be up for going down there got suit with instrument i assume you are not interested coming over
Wow, what a brilliant deduction! I reply: Ah. I didn't think of that. I don't want you to get the wrong idea....
He responds with: ? (what is that?!?)
A pause, then: Well let me know i understand if you rather not
I'm a little unsure as to what to say (and I'm at dinner with Sarah & Kim & Luis, so I'm trying to enjoy my dinner) and I get: Cat got your tongue?
I reply: Can we meet for drinks?
CM: I would like to but i need to get back and walk my dog so it would have to be just one sorry just had a long day
Kris: Oh well....

I haven't heard from him since. What's the deal, if I don't want to sleep with him he doesn't want to date me? Nice. And typical. Having large breasts seems to attract that kind of guy. This exchange on its own wouldn't be enough to eliminate him, but the wired rescheduling thing doesn't seem to help either. I don't think I'll be hearing from him again, somehow.

But, instead I stayed out with Kim and Sarah (been a long time since we've done that!) and had a blast. Seriously, the French-Brazilian place we found was amazing. Much better than going home with some random guy!

Long Overdue Update

2006-02-09T11:47:00.000-05:00

Sorry folks, life has been crazy for me as of late!

Many of my weekend exploits are chronicled on Dolly's blog (I'm Pretty Polly). But I've got a few of my own to share with you as well!

I know, I know, you're probably wondering about the boys. Okay, well here goes:

Classical Musician--we have had our second date scheduled, but he has postponed it twice now. Normally this would be a deal breaker, but it really seems that there are no good times for the two of us to get together, and besides, he's been plying me with offers of free theatre tix (he's currently working in the orchestra of a big Broadway show!). So, if we can ever make (and keep!) plans, I'll be happy to see him again.

Clark Kent--No, this isn't the same drunken Clark Kent I met on Halloween. This guy I met while out with Dolly and the PUAs. He looks just like Clark Kent--all tall, hot and buff, with a pair of black hipster glasses. He was hanging around, and we started talking, but one of my gal pals, Pixie, got sick, so I had to leave. Since I didn't want to leave without saying good bye, I told him that I unfortunately had to go.
Clark Kent: That's a shame...
Kristin (not wanting this opportunity to go to waste): Well, you know we could continue this again sometime.... (a way too obvious hint to ask for my #--a trick I picked up from The Game)
Clark Kent: Oh, but we've only talked for 10 minutes--we don't really know each other.
Kristin: Listen, when a girl offers you her number, I suggest you take it.
He laughed, and took my number.

The next night, we're out again, and after meeting an amazingly great 23-year-old (of course!), I get a text message.
Clark Kent: Are you out tonight?
Kristin: Yes-where r u?
Clark Kent: Max Fish
Kristin: Gatsbys on Spring
Clark Kent: Should I meet you? Spring and what
Kristin: Lafayette. Come!
Clark Kent: Ok 10 min

Sure enough, in 10 minutes he showed up, just as gorgeous as the night before. We had an amazing chat for about 2 hours, kissed a little, but by then it was getting late. He asked if he could call, I joked that maybe he didn't know me well enough yet. He laughed and told me he'd call Monday afternoon. True to his word, he did. We have a first date tonight! Fingers crossed.

British Scientist--He has returned! But that's way too much for this post. I'll update soon!

update on my life

2006-02-01T17:21:00.000-05:00

in case anyone hasn't noticed, i haven't updated in a while. for 2 reasons:

-i write all the time in my real blog, and feel like i dont have to "explain myself" there (i.e. i feel like here readers dont know me and i might be misunderstood, for whatever reason..either i'm not presenting myself the way i want to, or i'm not giving enough history behind something, or ppl are just too quick to judge, etc) so that gets kinda annoying, and i figure, what's the point

-a lot of ppl who i didn't want to read this blog read it (for ex, luis's friends) so i feel like i can't be as open as i want (and talk about certain ppl too!) which defeats the whole purpose.

that being said, b/c i'm a girl and like to contradict myself, here's what's goign on w/my (dating) life....

the man and i are moving in together. *GULP* yes, it's official. we can start moving in to the new apt a WEEK from today. it happened so fast, yet it didn't... we had orginally planned on may, but then luis was practically staying over my place every night for whatever reason since like november--late nights at work (it's more convenient to come over), he join the gym by my house, his roomie got another roomie, yada yada. i started kinda resenting him for it, b/c i felt like he had one foot in and one foot out (keeping his apt in jersey for "safety" or something) and also i felt like since it was my place, i was always doing everything--cleaning, laundry, etc. around december, we both agreed that it was time to ask the realty office for availablity for a 1 bdrm.. i finally asked 2 weeks ago. this past friday i got a call to come see a place, 5 mins after that we were signing the lease. it hit us about an hour after that.

we're going to be roomates.
we're going to LIVE together.

i feel good about it though. i think it's time for this next step. it's just scary b/c of the what ifs. what if it doesn't work out, then i wont be with this man for the rest of my life. what if i'm incapable of living w/anyone b/c i'm so neurotic? what if he drives me crazy? etc etc etc

but then there are the perks.

-less fighting about money issues--we're getting a joint account which i think will solve a lot of problems. for ex, since my schedule is more flexible than his, i end up getting the groceries and dry cleaning most of the time. that money comes out of my pocket continously.

-having a guy around for when you see a cockroach, that's definetely a perk

-having a sense of security

-starting a home w/someone

it's exciting, i have to admit..

other things going on w/my life (non dating wise)... i (still) can't wait for school to be over, i (still) hate so many of the ppl i go to school with (b/c they are these idealistic a-holes that complain about everything), i miss hanging out w/my friends so much and miss just feeling relaxed and like my old self.. but i've been doing better in balancing out my life and trying to keep from being too stressed... and i'm going to JAMAICA for spring break w/kristin and sarah!! definite highlight of the year (too bad cynthia can't come!!!!)

well, i guess that sums it up...

oh, and i'm (still) not going to allow comments- b/c i can do that =P

Matchmaker, Matchmaker....

2006-02-01T14:56:00.000-05:00

Had plans today to go to lunch with the Founding Member. I've been trying to get him to agree to this for a couple of weeks, then, out of the blue yesterday, I get an email from him, suggesting a time and a place for today. Cool.

I show up first somehow (that never happens) and as I see him walking down the street toward me, I realize that something is very very wrong.

Rewind to last Friday night. I was hanging out with the cast of my show, and the Founding Member was there. As you may recall, everyone left around midnight, but the Lead of the show stayed out with me till about 2:30. She's an amazing girl. Well, the subject of the Founding Member came up. He had very briefly dated an amazingly talented actress/writer (let's call her the Gun Moll--her last character) and things had ended as quickly as they started. Well the Gun Moll was also out with us, so the Lead was very relieved that things had not seemed awkward between the Founding Member and the Gun Moll, as they had in the past. We then, of course, began to discuss his utter lack of self-confidence, which sabotages his relationships with women. I mention that I find him attractive, but of course am reluctant to get involved (if things don't go well, I probably won't still be doing shows with this company--the guy is like one of 4 main people!!), I don't know him that well, etc.

My fatal flaw, however, was my failure to remember that the Lead enjoys playing matchmaker. She's been trying to set up Hot Actor with another girl in the company who has a crush on him (he seems to be mostly ignoring her advances). As soon as I mentioned I thought the Founding Member was cute, she jumped on this piece of information.

Lead: You two would be great together.
Kris: Oh, I don't know, I mean part of it is he seems like he would go out with anybody right now. I want to feel like he wants to date me, not just whoever.
Lead: No, he only goes for smart women. He'd really be into you.
Kris: Oh, I don't know. So.... (changes subject)

It was clear from the first moment that I saw the Founding Member that something was off. I'm not sure, something about his smile, or the way he was talking to me, made it clear to me that something has been said. Perhaps it was just that he wasn't his usual Eeyore self. But I know that he knows.

This, of course put me into full-on panic mode. I'm really NOT sure that I want to get involved. It would be too complicated, unless I were sure it was going to work out. And I'm not. I don't really know him that well, aside from our mutual depression and dating advice, I'm not sure we have a lot to talk about. And there's always that he isn't doing too well on the checklist (but that's the least of my worries, at this point). It takes about half-a-second for these thoughts to fill my head. And my flight-or-fight response? Is to talk. Incessantly. The guy will not be able to make a move, or say anything at all, because my constant monologue will prevent it. And how can anyone find someone who talks non-stop attractive?

Finding material for this tactic, though, is difficult. I end up discussing ridiculous parts of my life in excruciating detail:

"Well, I didn't get to work yesterday, because my scene partner text messaged me that we were going to rehearse, so I called work and told them, and then of course his phone dies, so I don't hear from him, so I'm wondering what happened, and figure I should just show up to class on time, but of course I didn't go to work. Then I'm at class, and I'm like, dude, what happened? And he tells me his phone dies. But come on, really, I know there aren't a lot of pay phones in the city, but could he have used one? Or borrowed someone else's? I mean, that's possible, right? So because of all this I didn't end up going to work yesterday. But I did end up doing well in class...."

You get the point. I end up being the ditzy blonde comic-relief character, like the wife (LaShawn) that Jack runs into in Brokeback Mountain. Hardly ideal for someone who only goes for "smart women." I play this character all the time in shows, but when I'm nervous, I embody her. Though I'm totally aware of what's happening, my conscious mind is powerless to stop it.

So, lunch is over, I calm down (I'm safe!), we're walking out of the restaurant. And we finally begin to have an interesting conversation, about the nature of theatre, its limitations and advantages. This real conversation, however, gets cut short, because we both have to get back to work. As I take my leave of the Founding Member, I apologize for my poor conversational skills.

Kris: I feel like I spent the last hour in an endless monologue. I'm sorry.
Founding Member: Don't worry about it, I enjoyed it!

Shit.

Cut to the Chase

2006-01-30T16:18:00.000-05:00

Can I just say how nice and refreshing it is to get a straightforward email for once? The Classical Musician's original request to meet up read (in total):

I saw your profile randomly and loved it. Would you be up for getting a drink sometime?

Clear and to the point. I can't even tell you how much I hate the online dating thing where you send 5 emails back and forth, talk on the phone twice, and THEN decide to make plans to meet up. I mean really, what's the point? If you meet up and the person is not attractive to you, you're not attractive to them, one of you says something stupid, etc., etc., well, then why bother with all the chit chat? I really don't care how many sisters you have, or your hopes and dreams, or what you're looking for in a relationship until we've established that there's a minimal mutual attraction there. Personally, I'd just meet up for a drink and get that over with. Saves a lot of time and bother.

So, last night the Classical Musician and I established that. And I've already heard from him. He sent me the following message today:

Thanks for meeting up :) Do you have any time for me this week ? :)

What a relief to get an email without any pussyfooting around. Poor Dolly is in guy-limbo hell. I say: cut to the chase! If the guy is calling or emailing, um, I'm guessing he's interested. Otherwise you would a) not be hearing from him or b) getting the "I really liked you but.." speech. So what's with the hour-long phone calls, the tentative emails? Dude, ask me out already.

Thanks, Classical Musician. :)

Kristin Ventures Out into the Dating Scene Again....

2006-01-30T13:50:00.000-05:00

So, last night I went on my first date since the Set-Up date (he never called, of course, no shocker there). This was with the friendster guy who kept suggesting bizzaro times to meet. Last night was no exception--we met up at 9pm on a Sunday.

Well, it turns out he's a classical musician, which is why his schedule is so bizzare. Okay, makes sense. And he gets a point for being a musician--we laughed about all the dates with non-artistic types we've had who just don't get it, i.e.:
Guy: Um, so what's the goal to be on Broadway?
K: I'm actually just really happy doing what I'm doing right now.
Guy: Yeah, but what's the goal? TV, movies?
K: I feel like I've already achieved "the goal"--I'm part of a theatre company whose work I'm proud of, I've been cast non-stop in projects for the last six months without auditioning at all, and I'm currently in a conservatory program, improving my craft and growing as an artist. I'm very satisfied.
Guy: But what if you never make it?
(Kristin hits head against wall)

So, it was nice to meet someone that I not only did NOT have to have that conversation with, but who's had his share of trying to explain the same thing to others. He's also very smart, and 6'2", and has to be good at what he does--the guy went to Julliard! So, he's doing VERY well on the checklist.

We had a great time--he was very gentlemanly, insisted on paying for everything, etc. NY shuts down, though, on Sunday nights, so we got kicked out of the bar we were at, and realized NOTHING ELSE was open--at least not by Lincoln Center. So we ended up making out at the Lincoln Center fountain, which was sooooooo sweet! I'm a Lincoln Center junkie, as is he, so it seemed very appropriate.

It was so nice to have a GOOD first date--I haven't had one of those in a while, not since... uh... oh no, Karaoke Boy, in October!

I have a feeling I'll be hearing from this one again. Fingers crossed!

Disappointment. And then more disappointment.

2006-01-29T16:27:00.000-05:00

So, Kristin is trying not to be jaded and venture "out there" again. Soooo, I've been out, just to see what happens. I've discovered that pigtails are irrisistible to men. I'm in a show right now and I have to wear braids in it. Since once my hair is in braids, it looks terrible when I take it out, I generally leave the braids in. And bar hopping on Fri and Sat, the braids were a total hit.

Friday night I ended up partying with the cast of my show. We've not done that before, but we had a blast. The lead and I ended up staying out till 2:30, and had a great time. If you think I'm jaded, you have no idea till you meet her--she shot down every boy who said something stupid to her--it was inspirational. My braids, though, were the big draw. Tons of guys ended up talking to us, and my co-star ended up finding a very charming fellow to talk to. I, of course, ended up getting free drinks and conversation from a fellow visiting from Pittsburg. He laid it on pretty thick, how he wanted to come visit me and on and on. Not my type, though. Totally didn't get the whole "actress" thing, all about the suburbs, kinda full of himself. He insisted he'll call, though. Riiiight.

Saturday night I went to a show--and met the MAN OF MY DREAMS. He was sitting one row in front of me, we started chatting at intermission. He's a theatre critic, for a real newspaper, and a masters student at Columbia, and tall, and smart, and..... perfect. *sigh* I'm in love. So, my big plan all through the second act (clearly I was paying attention to the show) was to chat with him and engage him so thouroughly in conversation that we'd have to take it somewhere else--to a bar. But even though I put my plan into action, we get outside, and he's like "catch you later" and walks off. OH NO!!!!!! All my hopes and dreams for him, plans for being a theatre power couple (ha!) were dashed. (nasty commenters--please don't take that last sentence too seriously. I'm joking.)

After that, I met up with my new partner in crime, Dolly. The girl is a blast. Super fun, and attractive, and good at talking to boys--the perfect person to meet people with. And we do have soooo much fun. She set a record for the shortest amount of time from meet to make-out. She pointed out some guy, we started chatting with him, he pulled her onto the dance floor, and boom, they're making out. All in the course of one song. Unbelievable.

Anyways, she finds this total cutie to talk to. And I'm the wingman, so I'm going to talk to his friend, who is, um, wow. Like, the most unattractive guy ever. Sadly. He was fun, though. We had a great talk about the Philharmonic (yeah, I'm into classical music, I'm a freak). And we had this great chat, and he goes "hey, can I kiss you?" and I say "uh, well, I just met you!" all cute-like. But really, well, I have, like, less than zero attraction for him. Okay, to give you a frame of reference, he physically resembles Newman from Seinfeld. Yeah. But it just makes me so SAD. Because I'm sure Newman is a great guy, a sweet guy, and he's interesting and has a lot of things to say. But I just can't get over the complete lack of physical attraction I have for him. And, clearly, will never have for him. He's not really the type of guy that you can grow to find attractive. And i'm not generally superficial at all, but I just can't get over this. He did get my #, though, so I'm sure he'll call. And he's a great guy, but... yeah. I just wish you could wave a magic wand and make someone attractive.

I wonder...

2006-01-25T23:18:00.000-05:00

...how many bloggers are lost due to nasty comments? I mean, I know every blog has them, but I wonder what percentage of bloggers end up quitting partly due to them? I love This Fish's "advice free zone"--clearly from too many advice-happy commenters in the past. I know the comments drive Kim crazy--and she either doesn't post, or posts with the no comment option. I prefer to keep the dialogue open, but still. People get so INVOLVED. It's, like, only a blog, y'kno? No one's forcing you to read it. But then again, there are those people, like one of Cyn's law school buddies, who thinks the internet is for posting nasty things to people (I'm clearly not of that camp).

Just wondering.

Virus Strikes Again!

2006-01-25T11:28:00.000-05:00

So, this weekend I was supposed to meet up with the British Scientist. He was the guy I was seeing in SEPTEMBER. We've been exchanging text messages and agreed to meet up for a quick drink. Soo... I wake up that morning to find I'm dreadfully ill. I can't get out of bed. I'm hoping I'll feel better as the day goes on, but unfortunately not. Ug.

So I have to cancel. I send him a message, suggesting other times, he writes back suggesting another, I write back suggest another. We're both too busy, I guess. I haven't heard back from him, so I think this planned meeting just may not happen. Oh well, c'est la vie.

This is the 2nd time I've gotten some strange virus when I'm supposed to meet him. I think it's because he studies viruses and so all the wierd ones find me, knowing I'm in touch with him. Ha.

Year of Yes?

2006-01-20T11:29:00.000-05:00

Has anyone heard about this book, The Year of Yes? Basically it's about a girl who goes out with anyone who asks her for a year. And ends up marrying this divorced guy, 25-years her senior. Wow. Not what a 20-year-old is exactly looking for. But she's blissfully happy, she says (and I'm sure he is too!). So good for her.

I pretty much have the same philosophy. As my friends will tell you, I'll go on a 1st date with just about anyone who asks (within reason). It's the second date you have to earn. I didn't really think Jersey Shore Boy would go anywhere when he asked me out, but we had such an amazing first date, that the rest is history. Even though things didn't work out between us, I don't regret our relationship for a minute.

Though I think I'm too jaded at the moment to actually GET asked out, I do firmly believe in giving people a chance. Maybe I was too hard on the friendster guy?

The Good Thing About Being Jaded...

2006-01-19T16:12:00.000-05:00

...is that frankly, I just don't care. So I'm not risking anything by being forward, because, well, I just don't care!

Take the party I was at this past weekend. It was way lame, practically all the guys there had girlfriends (but yet none of their girlfriends were there. Is that strange to anyone but me?). So, there are three semi-eligible guys sitting on the couch. A friend of a friend thought one was cute, but was too scared to go over there. So I went over to get some Brie and started chatting them up. I kept waiting for this girl to come by and be like "hey!" but she never did. I had to extricate myself to ask her what had happened!! She didn't know she was supposed to come over, she said, but figured none of them were single anyway. So, I decide I'm going to figure it out. I walk over to them again, and we have the following exchange:

Kristin: I've just been sent over here to do some recon. My friends want to know--are any of you single or are we just barking up the wrong tree?
Guy #1: With me, you're barking up the wrong tree--I don't like girls.
Guy #2 (This is the guy the girl was into): (reluctantly) Uh, I have a girlfriend.
Guy #3: (reluctantly) Uh, I'm single.
Kristin: Okay, we'll keep that in mind. Thanks!

I don't think I would have dared to be so blunt if I had actually cared about what the outcome was. So yeay for being jaded! Needless to say, we high-tailed it out of there after that.

The Bad Thing About Being Jaded...

...Is that I can't be bothered. This guy on friendster has been emailing me to set a time to go out, but keeps picking bizzare times, like Wednesday night at 9. I have no interest in meeting someone for drinks at 9pm on a Wednesday. Friday or Saturday, sure, but WEDNESDAY? Don't people have to work in the morning? I'm temping again so I certainly do. It would be one thing if he said he works late or something, but I've gotten no explanation for the bizzare times. But, since I don't care, I won't comprimise. Which is probably bad, but whatever. I can't be bothered. If he can't meet at 6 or 7 like a normal person, than I can't meet him.

I'm So Jaded....

2006-01-16T11:31:00.000-05:00

So, I haven't been dating much, so there hasn't been much for me to write about. I'm not doing the online dating thing anymore, at least for the time being, and yet I've had 3 guys start corresponding with me on friendster. (Friendster?? Who meets people on friendster?) But part of me can't muster up the energy to actually agree to plans with them--I mean really, what's the point. I'm too sure it'll all end up badly anyway, so it's difficult to get excited. And last night, went out, met a cute (super cute!) boy. We exchanged emails (I concocted some excuse to give mine and get his...) but this morning I could barely remember that I met him, let alone how cute he is. I suppose I should email (he's only lived in New York a few months--he's not spoiled yet!!!!), but, I just feel, again, like it's pointless. I don't know, I'm just not feeling into it right now, after all the dates that don't work out.

I was talking to the Founding Member of this theatre company I work with, and he was telling me how he is, perhaps, the most unlucky in love of us all. (He should start a blog! I'm sure it would be quite popular. Heh.) He's so quiet and unassuming, I think the ladies forget about him. And he doesn't flirt at all. But he's not bad looking, and super smart. He was complaining to me how hard it is, since he doesn't get any attention. And I totally agree, that sucks. But it's almost as bad to have the constant highs and lows that I have--I mean, my pattern is 1. Meet Someone, 2. Get Excited, 3. They disappear. And after a while it just gets to be too much. I just don't feel like I have the emotional strength right now to get excited, just to be sad and disappointed soon thereafter.

Text Messaging is Fun and Funny

2006-01-07T16:17:00.000-05:00

So the holidays are over. But over the course of them, I received a boatload of text messages, sent from people clearly to everyone in their phone. "Happy Thanksgiving!" "Merry Xmas!" "Happy New Year!" Most were from friends of mine, but I did receive a couple from random boys that had my number for some odd reason or another, which was slightly amusing. So I decided to send out a New Year's message of my own. And I got two very interesting responses.

The first was from British Scientist (remember him?). He responded right away, and we had the following exchange (over the last week):

K: Happy 2006!
BS: You too! How are you??
K: Good! did you have a happy new years?
BS: Great, my family is here, was great to see them-you?
K: Ooh fun! just partied with friends-we had a blast.
BS: Sounds good! how are things otherwise?
K: good- my new show opens soon! u?
BS: Good too, over worked, but good-whats the show about?
K: Its pretty cool - its about neurological disorders.
BS: Are you still on match, or did you get lucky?!

That was last night. I haven't responded yet, but will probably let him know I'm not on match, nor am I lucky. I wonder if he wants to get together again. I wonder what happened to him the first time. I wonder if I should.

The second text message was way more humorous. Karaoke Boy is still in my phone as well (I wait as long as possible to delete numbers--I want to know if they're calling so I can screen appropriately). So when he got my text message, he responded, 2 days later with this:

Happy New Year 2 u 2... um, who is this?

I haven't responded. But I think it's hysterical. He deleted me! Two months earlier (Oct 31) I was hanging out with him, and he already deleted me. Gee, tell me how you really feel. Ha!

Mimi Says It Better....

2006-01-07T15:41:00.000-05:00

As usual, Mimi says it better than I ever could:

http://miminewyork.blogspot.com/2006/01/going-dutch.html
More proof that the men paying IS a cultural thing (interesting, then, that the British Scientist insisted on paying for EVERYTHING. Hrm.). Though I prefer for guys to pay, I'm hardly holding out for designer shoes, or exchanging, well, anything for dinners, really. Is there not some middle ground?

My biggest beef though, is with the double standard. Guys like this think it's ridiculous, an unwarranted sense of entitlement. But guys who think that are generally the same guys that will do all they can to get you into bed, but if they succeed will never call again because "how many guys has she done that with?" It's stupid. Or else, if you've slept with more than 3-4 guys, you're not relationship-material anymore, since you're too easy. How bout this: when guys stop holding girls to an impossible double standard, I'll stop expecting them to buy me drinks/dinner. Deal?

Belated New Years Wrap-Up

2006-01-06T11:33:00.000-05:00

So, this New Year's was a total blast. Cynthia & Princeton Lawyer threw a party, as Sarah said, and we were all there, along with 25 of our closest (or not so close) friends. Cynthia was a bit nervous about the turnout, as everyone on the evite decided to invite about a million other people, and Princeton Lawyer doesn't have the biggest place, but it all turned out fine in the end. Sexy D was there, and did some major flirting with Sarah, which was only possible because The Manchild (formerly the Hated Ex) called in sick, literally, to the party. So, since he didn't show, my Ex, the Poet, didn't show either. I was actually pretty relieved about this, as it averted a lot of potential drama.

However much drama was created by myself and the Invited Guest, a good friend of mine who I used to have a crush on, who has just gone on a break with his girlfriend. I took this opportunity to plan to be his New Year's kiss, but made the mistake(?) of telling everyone. Kim is adorable when she gets drunk, and insisted, at around 10pm, that the Invited Guest and I share a New Year's kiss. He looked a bit uncomfortable at her directness, but agreed. So about an hour later, we headed off to his friend's New Year's party, a few blocks away.

This is the point where things get hazy, but from what I can recall, the clock struck midnight and we shared a simply delightful, gentle, New Year's kiss. I wanted it to continue, but he pulled away first. We were chatting and I think, at some point, I said something like "We should go out" and, as far as I recall, he said something like "I don't think that's a good idea." Now that I'm sober, I'm not really bothered by this, but apparently in my drunken state this was too much for me to handle and I apparently got up, walked off, and left the party to return to Cynthia's. I can't remember much else, besides puking (ewww!) and falling out of a cab on the way home, skinning my knee like a 6-year-old kid. Nice. Yet I have the fondest memories of the night, and ended up having a great time. How strange!

The Set-Up Wrap-Up

2006-01-04T09:29:00.000-05:00

Well, Princeton Lawyer certainly found for me a great guy. The Set-Up is cute, funny, a good conversationalist, has a good job, and seems like a nice person. But.... (there's always a "but," isn't there?) ... he's 25. So what, though, right? Not even 6 months younger than me. Except that, well, there were a few minor breeches in etiquette.
--As the hostess showed us to our table, he walked in front of me and sat down in the window seat (traditionally the woman's seat) without waiting for me to sit down, leaving me in the aisle.
--He invited me out (suggesting dinner and picked a somewhat-pricey place) and then, well, we split the bill. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose, but, well, first off that's NEVER happened to me before on a first date, and second, I think if the guy is doing the inviting and choosing he's somewhat responsible, as the "host" of the evening. Also, drinks/coffee would have been more than sufficient. If he was planning on splitting the bill a little "Is this place okay? It's a bit pricey" or something before we got there would have been nice to give me a heads up.

Again, though, he seems like a great guy. I think in a few years, when he's learned a few things, he'll be a great catch. But I also get the impression he's just looking for a girlfriend to hang out with--not someone to settle down with, certainly not "The One." And I really don't feel like wasting another 2 years of my life in a dead-end relationship, just because it's fun. If there's no possibility of things going somewhere, then really, I'm not sure what the point is. Before, well, I didn't want to get married or settle down anyway--but I'm certainly open to that possibility now, and would like to start dating someone who that's also a possibility for.

The Set-Up said he'd call me when he gets back from his business trip, next week, but I doubt it. Somehow I got the impression that he "just wasn't that into me."

Plans for New Year's Eve

2005-12-30T15:00:00.000-05:00

Trying to figure out what to do for New Year's is always hard. Do you go all out and spend lots of money or do you stay home and do something low-key? This year that decision was made easier by Cynthia and her boyfriend, Princeton Lawyer, who have decided to throw a party on New Year's Eve. This means that I won't have to spend a lot of money and deal with crowds of people to have fun with my friends on New Year's! The best part of the party is that most of my close friends will be there, including Kim and Kristin. My boyfriend is also coming and bringing along his close friends, The Poet or Kristin's ex. Let the drama begin.

Knowing that my boyfriend would want to include his friends on New Year's, as soon as the party was announced I asked whether that would be a problem. While Cynthia thought it would be fine, Kristin did express some concern over seeing her ex, The Poet again, which was totally understandable. New Year's Eve is a hard time to be single and no one wants to deal with seeing their ex at a time like that. So when I told my boyfriend about the party, I told him he could invite his friends, but that he shouldn't invite The Poet. Of course, being the attentive listener that he is, he missed the part of me saying that he couldn't invite The Poet and went ahead and invited him. He refused to retract the invitation saying that I should be the one to explain to him why he couldn't come. That was fine by me.

I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to tell The Poet and wanted to wait to confirm with Kristin that she still didn't want him at the party. However, I saw The Poet before I had a chance to talk to Kristin and since he asked about Kristin I decided to go ahead and tell him that she didn't feel comfortable with seeing him on New Year's Eve. I explained how it had really very little to do with him, and more to do with Kristin's desire not to feel alone on New Year's Eve. The Poet said he understood and offered to be Kristin's date for New Year's! He said that if Kristin wanted someone to kiss on New Year's Eve, he would be happy to be that person.

While The Poet is a commitment-phobe, I believe that he genuinely does care about Kristin. He enjoyed the time he spent with Kristin and though he cannot commit to her he does want to see her happy, which is why he offered to be her date on New Year's. I though that The Poet's offer, while not a very smart idea, was nevertheless really sweet. Kristin agreed with me, At the end, she rejected his offer, but welcomed him to the party. Happy endings are nice.

Awkward Moments to Come...

2005-12-29T15:08:00.000-05:00

So, I just found out that Hot Actor will now be joining the cast of my new show! Oh no!

After my friend gave him my number and he never called, I thought I'd only have to see him in big groups at parties. No problem, and easy to avoid.

Crap! Now I have scenes with him (no, no love scenes) and am going to be spending lots of rehearsal time with him. Ug. How UNCOMFORTABLE.

In other news, my date with The Set-Up is officially tonight, 6pm. So.... we'll see how that goes. I haven't had a first date in a while. I always hate those.

It Could Be Worse....

2005-12-28T16:15:00.000-05:00

Well, for all the bitching and moaning I do about being single in New York, I've decided it could be worse. I could be in San Francisco.

I spent the holidays in San Francisco this year, and hit the bar scene with a few of my gal pals out there (Katie lives out there now, along with one of my most favorite people ever, Babette). Admittedly, things were slow because of the holiday season, but it was illuminating to see the dating scene out there...

It all started when I was meeting Babette for dinner. She was late, of course, so I was on my own. I stood by the bar, wondering what to order, when two nice gentlemen asked me if they could buy me a drink. Of course I agreed, and we had a most pleasant conversation until Babette showed up about a half hour later. When I told her that the gentlemen at the bar had purchased my drink, she was very impressed. "Guys don't really do that here," she said.

I didn't really believe her, though, till I saw it with my own eyes the next night. We bar hopped till we found a suitable lounge (very Chelsea, I felt right at home) and, after a bit, started talking to a group of guys from google. All cute, I felt disappointed I wasn't staying in SF to date any (or all!) of them. Babette, though, did acquire an email address... Anyways, these guys all make good money and yet, at no point did they offer to buy any of us drinks--even when they were going back to the bar to refill their own!! I was shocked. And as I looked around the rest of the bar, I noticed that this seemed to be the case--men really weren't buying girls drinks! At all! This would never fly in NYC. It does help explain, though, this fellow's reluctance to buy a girl a drink, though, as he hailed from the San Francisco Bay Area as well. I guess it's a cultural thing.

I don't want to get into the debate of whether guys should be forced to buy girls drinks--we've had enough of that, I think, but it's interesting to see that in SF they just don't. God knows I'd be even more broke than my struggling actress income permits if I regularly had to buy my own drinks... It could be worse....

Transit Strike!

2005-12-21T00:56:00.000-05:00

So, we wouldn't be NY bloggers without sharing our thoughts on the Transit Strike--but I'm safely ensconced in California--narrowly avoiding the whole thing!! Part of me is happy to be avoiding it, but part of me feels like I'm missing a quintessential moment of the New York experience--one that all the rest of you are having! Cyn, Kim, and Sarah had quite the morning getting around. As Sarah writes:

I waited for the shuttle in the freezing cold for over an hour. I felt I was back in Chicago waiting for the bus in freezing weather. I couldn't even feel my hands and toes from the cold! Fearing that I may never regain feeling in my toes and hands again, I gave up waiting and decided to head back home. Of course, as soon I walked a couple of blocks away I saw the bus heading down! I felt like a fool for not waiting the additional 5 min. I was also annoyed with myself for waiting so long just to turn around and go home again. I called my brother to tell him what had just happened and he told me that I could get a ride from his friend, who was coming to pick him up. I ended up getting a ride from my brother's friend and finally getting to work at 11:30. I am not looking forward to tomorrow. Hopefully, the shuttle will show up and I won't have the same kind of hassle and stress as I did this morning. I got home really quickly on the shuttle this evening, so that's positive; there's some hope that things will go smoother tomorrow, but who knows? I want this strike to be over!!

Kim and Cynthia have been trying to take grad school FINALS in this mess--not great for mental agility, so please keep your fingers crossed that they get to their finals okay, and that they do well!

My Dad was in NYC for the 1960 strike. At that time the contract expired on Jan 1, so he was at a New Year's party. Since no one could go home, they all crashed there, and went out to get more booze, and continued the party for 2 more days. How cool is that? I hope the strike is over by New Year's--you can't get a cab to save your life, so the only way to get home is the train...

I'm so sad to not be enduring this misery with all of you! And there is little-to-no news coverage in Cali, the best I can do is download videos from WCBS. Thank god for high-speed internet!!

Shocking News!

2005-12-18T04:25:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week, our young heroine reconnected with a friend of a friend, another single blonde gal named Dolly. She came to her show tonight, met up with the cast afterward, and of course Hot Actor was there. He was pretty caught up with his friend who had attended the show, but after a time, made a point of coming over and talking to our young heroine. She and Dolly had plans to go to another party, and when our young heroine told him this, he seemed disappointed. However, the theatre company is having another party tomorrow night, so she told him she'd see him there. He said he might not be able to make it--he has plans with a friend, but he would do his best. He seemed disappointed, as was our young heroine. As they said their goodbyes, Dolly wrote our young heroine's name & # on a piece of paper, and, while her back was turned, handed it to him. At least now the ball is in his court! Dolly insisted, correctly, that if he didn't have our heroine's #, she would be too sad if he didn't show up tomorrow. Yeay for cool friends who look out for one's best interests!

So they headed off to the other party, hosted by another friend of the Invited Guest. He knows tons of finance boys, and other parties have had lots of single boys about. However, the friend's girlfriend had invited all her single girl friends, so the odds were not in our young heroine's favor, and, by the time they arrived at 2am, many of the single boys had moved on. The Invited Guest greeted our young heroine with a warm hug and put his arm around her waist. Huh? The Invited Guest had been touchy-feely with her two years earlier, when he was single (and she was not), but had not been since he had connected with his current girlfriend. The girls mixed and mingled, and again the Invited Guest joined their circle, putting his hand around her waist. Again, she was surprised, but didn't really see anything to complain about. Towards the end of the night, the Invited Guest confessed that he and his girlfriend had agreed to see other people! Shocking! This news has sent our young heroine into a state of confusion. Of course, our young heroine had had the hugest crush on him, for a time, but couldn't act on it--she was dating Jersey Shore Boy. But now they both are single. They agreed they would see each other on New Years. Perhaps the Invited Guest will be her New Year's Kiss?

Weird Evening

2005-12-17T05:57:00.000-05:00

So, Hot Actor was there tonight (of course, he's in the show!!) and we all went to the bar around the corner after (of course) and we talked, albeit briefly. We had a nice chat about acting schools, but I still can't talk to him at all. Then I had a total heart-to-heart with one of the founding members of the theatre company, till we were interrupted by the playwright. It ended up just the playwright and me, who told me 1) I should hook up with the Founding Member, because he's a sweet guy and he needs to get laid 2) That I shouldn't be intimidated by Hot Actor, underneath it all, he's as much of as a dork as I am, and 3) He wanted to kiss me. Um, and well, we ended up kissing (it wasn't for that long, and he wasn't the best kisser, but uh, yeah... ). So now I'm worried about being "That Girl" the one that hooks up with all the guys in the group. The Playwright told me not to worry, that only if I hooked up with the Founding Member would my status be jeopardized. He did have a point, there, but still... so he promised he wouldn't say anything.

A girl I know has kept a list of all the kisses she's had--and she's up to 99. I don't even think I can count! It's crazy. I'm crazy. Boy crazy. What's wrong with me?

2005-12-16T11:40:00.000-05:00

Soooo, saw Hot Actor for the first time since our kiss last night. He was friendly--normally we barely talk backstage, but yesterday he was full of "How was your weekend" chitchat. After the show, he was waiting at the bar we all go to after the show (not for me, though, other people were there too). He did seem to be hanging about to talk to me though, as all his friends left, and he stayed for nearly another hour. Somehow he makes me feel all awkward and middle school-ish--I think I'm developing a mini-crush on him! I think it's because he's so Hot -- I normally go for the dorky-cute guys, and I know how they think--but Hot Actor is so hot, and aloof--I can't read him at all and don't know what to do!! Aii! I'll see him again tonight, so, we'll see...

Also, got an email from Princeton Lawyer's friend-of-a-friend that I'm apparently being setup with. He wrote:

Hey Kristin,

I'm The Set-Up, a friend of a friend of Princeton Lawyer's. He gave me your e-mail address and said you might be interested in meeting up sometime, which sounds good to me. The next few weeks are obviously busy given the holidays, but I'll be around in NY for a few days next week and late the week after that (before New Year's). If that doesn't work, we could always do after the New Year too...

Anyhow, let me know what you think and hopefully, we'll be able to make plans for sometime soon (this is my e-mail and my cell phone # is 609-555-1212). Also, if you have something particular you want to do in mind, I'm pretty much down for anything. Looking forward to meeting you...

Cheers,
-The Set-Up

PS - Not sure how much Princeton Lawyer told you about me, but I work in Media Partnerships at Big Corporation and I live by Gramercy Park...

Well, I'm glad to have heard from him. I responded, saying I probably can't meet up till after Xmas (I'm leaving for California too soon!) but maybe we could do something just before New Years? My schedule is pretty crazy, but I think we should be able to work something out. However, I'm not holding my breath. As PT Barnum and a handful of other email exchanges proved, people tend to drop the ball a lot on the arbitrary "let's get together" plans, and you never quite end up getting together....

Princeton Lawyer is my Pimp!

2005-12-15T11:32:00.000-05:00

Just got this email from Princeton Lawyer:

------
From: Princeton Lawyer
Date: Thu, 15 Dec 2005 11:20:28 -0500
To: Kristin
Subject: Dude

Kristin,

A friend of a friend is very interested in meeting you. Can I pass along your contact info? His name is (deleted). He's tall, graduated from Penn and works in advertising.

Later,

Princeton Lawyer

Ooh ooh! This sounds fun. Very interested, eh?? Well, let's see if he actually DOES contact me. Sounds promising, though....

More from MacB?

2005-12-13T11:35:00.000-05:00

Sooo maybe I was right--maybe it was about me, as I got this email this morning...

Wonderful seeing you last night, beautiful. It had been far too long - since your birthday party. Shame on us! Anyway, I hope this won't be the beginning of another two month draught. Let's grab a drink sometime soon and catch up some more. Since we're both painfully single, it shouldn't be a problem finding some free time!

It looks like life is treating you wonderfully, anyway, despite all your recent romantic hardships. Get back to me soon, and let's make a plan, shall we?

Or maybe that has nothing to do with it. I have been known to be neurotic...

Am I Paranoid??

2005-12-13T00:13:00.000-05:00

I ran into MacB today at an event, and we were talking about our dating woes, and he started telling this other lady about how he was dating this girl, and she'd just gotten out of a relationship, and he was really into her, but she said she just wanted to be friends.... and I don't know, maybe I'm just being paranoid, but part of me thought he was talking about me!!! Or maybe I'm just crazy. God I overthink things.

Unavoidable?

2005-12-11T03:46:00.000-05:00

Haha, everytime I think I'm taking a break, something happens. This time, the theatre company that I'm doing my show with decided to have a party in the theatre tonight. Cool, woohoo. Lots of free booze, I love it. Soooooooo, I'm talking to the playwright that has expressed interest. I'm still not sure about him, as y'all know, but he asks for my #, and I give it to him. (My policy is to always give ppl a chance). This is very early on in the evening. So, we're all chatting, networking, the usual, and this totally hot actor is talking, and maybe flirting(?) with me? I can't tell. But again, we're partying on stage, so he's like, oh, we should sit down, and leads me to sit down with him backstage... Oh! I didn't realize. So we're talking backstage, alone, and it feels really awkward, like we're 12, or something, and everyone starts making fun of us, like we're making out, but we're not, and then he actually DOES kiss me, and woah. It was nice, but short. And then the party breaks up, and he leaves, and doesn't get my #, and I'm disappointed. But I'll see him at the next show, so I guess I shouldn't be. I guess I'm just confused. I think I'm not entirely sure what just happened....

Break?

2005-12-09T02:45:00.000-05:00

So I guess I'm on a break from dating, for the time being. Don't really want to do the online thing again, the last time speed dating was a total loss, and meeting people in bars, though possible, is too hard if you're not in the right frame of mind. And everyone's busy with holiday stuff anyways, so it's too hard to plan anything this time of year. I haven't heard from either of the guys at last Saturday's party--which basically means I won't. Ug.

Though today was an interesting day, with acquaintances at least. I had a strange experience with one of the guys in my acting class, "Oz." We do these touchy-feely movement exercises, which are very weird (helpful, but weird)--everyone is holding hands and moving together and such. It's hard to explain. But anyways, at the end of the exercise, Oz and I were holding hands, and the exercise ended and we continued holding hands for a while as we emerged out of it (this is the kind of thing that in middle school would have been the cause of much elation and over-analyzing). Which normally I'd take as a sign of interest, but it's this touchy-feely class, so who knows? Hrm. Oh, and the playwright I mentioned before is definitely interested--he made that clear tonight. I'm apprehensive to get involved, though, with someone who's as much a mess as I am--I tend to attract guys who like taking care of me (I'm a bit of a mess that way, so sue me, I need a little help). Hey, at least it's nice to know someone's attracted to you...

So forgive me if my love life is a bit boring these days. I'm sure things will pick up when the holidays are over....

Ask the Grow Some Girls!

2005-12-05T22:57:00.000-05:00

So, we got a request for advice from an anonymous commenter. After hearing our opinion on blind date flowers (it makes you look desperate, don't do it!!), he wrote the following:

Hey Kristin...not really the place for this but have but perhaps you and your partners in crime (some of your date stories are just criminal!) could enlighten a gentleman as to what to get a woman who he has only been dating for ohh...about a week or so but predicts that the relationship will still be around for Christmas. The tale of the fool bringing flowers to a first date makes me anxious to avoid the same horrible fate.

Not the place? I say, why not! So I took a poll to see what the girls thought--and Cyn, Kim, and I are pretty much in agreement (Sarah has abstained).

From Kim:
i would def not be too extravagant w/the gift since it's been only a week.... it really depends on the course of the rlnship. do you feel like things are going really well for both of you? maybe instead of a gift, you can take her to dinner and a concert or the opera or something like that.. good luck!

From Cyn:
Gauge the situation. If things are not serious or committed, I would suggest a book, CD or dvd. For example, if you were talking about how much you love Rushmore and she said she'd never seen it, then that type of gift would refer back to a previous conversation and set-up a future date at the same time. We had been dating for two weeks when Princeton Lawyer had his birthday. Things were going well so I felt I needed to get something, but I wasn't sure what to get. So, I decided to get him this book that I told him about. That seemed to go over well. Another idea might be to make a restaurant reservation at a nicer place and then give her some sort of reservation card or something to indicate that you made these plans. People love nice dinners and again, it is setting-up another date. However, if things are serious then something more expensive might be appropriate. I would in all cases avoid gift certificates, clothes and make-up/body products. Those all could send bad messages.

And from me? Well Kim and Cyn are totally dead on. I think it depends on where things are--you're going to have to make a decision a little bit closer to Christmas I think. If things are still going well, it depends on how well. If you're exclusive by then (Jersey Shore Boy and I were exclusive 1 month after we met) you can do more--but I think that spending a lot of money, especially in the early stages, is a risk--it may pay off handsomely, but could backfire in you seeming a) too desperate or b) you getting upset if things end quickly thereafter. The best gift would be something that she really wants, but is moderately expensive (no more than $100, and that's on the high end, I would think, at this stage). What is she most passionate about? I'm an actress and I love to read--some of my favorite gifts have been intelligent books about the theatre. If she loves to cook, a nice cookbook and a few of those cute kitchen gadgets could be fun. You get the idea. Something personalized to her will go over a lot better than an expensive piece of jewelry or the generic dozen roses. She'll appreciate it more and you won't have spent as much. Hope this helps!

If anyone else is clamoring for our advice, feel free to email us your questions. And if none of you are, well, that's okay too. ;)

Productive Evening

2005-12-04T05:14:00.000-05:00

Sooo, two parties tonight for me... Two parties and two (possibly 3) prospects. After my show tonight I did some "networking" with the playwrights/directors/other actors from the theatre company--and one playwright seemed particularly interested in me (Damn it Anyway has confirmed this). But I left early to attend an Xmas party of a friend of the Invited Guest--and it was a great party. My phone # was given to two gentleman--a Norwegian fellow, from Norway, how cool is that, and a photographer who gave a very hard sell for me to go to bed with him tonight, though I resisted utterly and completely (no, not even a kiss). Though it was uncomfortable when I ran into the Resident. I was introduced to him like "you remember the Resident, of course" and seriously, I didn't even recognize him. Then I did, but it was too late to be like, "Oh, of course, you're the short guy who never asked for my #..." Very awkward. But a productive night nonetheless....

grad school breakups

2005-12-02T11:20:00.000-05:00

so i was talking to 2 ppl in my clinical group. one girl was going out with her boyfriend for 5 years-- they just broke up a few weeks ago. another girl was married for 2 years-- she got separated from her husband just last week.... we were talking about this and someone noted that grad school prompts breakups and she knows a lot more ppl who broke up w/their SO.. i'm sure it's not grad school per se, but the change in the course of your life. it's really interesting though, b/c at the same time these breakups are happening, i know 2 ppl who got engaged as well. looking at the course of my own relationship, luis and i have def gone thru a lot of adjustments, changes, compromises, etc. these past few months.
i remember during the first day of my orientation, this guy from the Wellness Center came to talk to us. my first thought was who is this jackass and why wont he shut up. he kept going on and on and on about the ppl in our lives, how they're going to get affected by the stress we feel, about communication, all this crap. i swear, that exact day, luis and i had a huge ass fight. i think we were getting my a/c from his place and we both just kept snapping at each other. the summer semester was definetely the hardest in terms of both work and in terms of learning to cope with changing, and having to make changes in my rlnship to make it work. i'm learning to not take out my aggression on luis, not to snap at him, etc (i said i'm leraning, not that i'm doing this all the time...i'm working on it!) but it feels good to be able to communicate better and to be able to deal with everything as a life change.. i also like that i have something imp't in my life besides luis. b4 school, i wasn't really focused or dedicated to anything. this is so imp't to me right now and i feel so good about myself whenever i learn something new, or do something well, etc. (as cheesy as that sounds) but anyway, i'm glad that luis and i are able to grow together. i think that's a great indicator for the success of a rlnship.. just thinking about deaf-mute and i, what a joke that was. i graduated a year, actually 2 yrs b4 him (he was on the 5 yr plan) and i felt like we were always living two separate lives..
anyway... i'll stop rambling now... just stuff i was thinking about..

My Boyfriend is Wonderful

2005-12-01T22:52:00.000-05:00

God, I have been in a terible mood for the past few days. I've been snippy with everyone, including my boyfriend, and generally full of self-pity. I've even been short with my school friends. Tonight, I watched OC with one of my school friends and did nothing but talk about how stressed out, fat and overwhelmed I am. As if I am the only one who needs support right now. Everyone here is equally stressed.

But, I was talking to my boyfriend and I was feeling full of anger and rage, but before I could bitch at him about something or another, he kind of cut me off and told me how much he loves me. And after that, I couldn't be bothered to complain.

I know that no one will ever love me as much as he does. No one can make me better when I am in one of my yucky moods the way that he can. I just don't know how I got so lucky. I have no idea.

Kristin's Rules of Order: Rule 2

2005-12-01T11:29:00.000-05:00

After my horrific birthday expierience, I thought I had everything figured out. Sure, hooking up was okay-just don't sleep with the guy. Well two gentleman were waiting in the wings to prove me wrong.

The first fellow I encountered while out with Sarah one night. We were at some wannabe trendy lounge off of Union Square, standing up (because there was no room to sit), apple martinis in hand, when a good-looking fellow approached us. After talking for a bit, he invited us to sit down at his table with his friends. I was seated next to a tall, handsome Russian actor, who was totally cute--and seemed totally into me. We spoke of his budding career, and when the night ended, and his friend offered to drive Sarah home, I accepted his offer to return to his place. No sex, but major hooking up ensued. I was completely baffled when I never heard from him again.

Our second fellow waiting to teach me this lesson was an unlikely candidate. He was the epitome of dorkyness. Tall, though, and relatively cute, and a good conversationalist. We met through a mutual friend at a group outing, and he plied me back to his apartment with the promise of an expensive vintage of wine. When I agreed, I got the impression that this tactic had NEVER worked before. We had a nice time, shared our sob stories, hooked up (of course). The best, though, was the looks of total shock on his roommates faces as he walked me out of his apartment the next morning. He didn't give me his number, but I fully expected him to call mine. I mean, really. He would never behave the way the Russian actor did--he would call, of course. He never did. I was heartbroken.

After that, well, I didn't really hook up with anyone 'till my relationship with Jersey Shore Boy began and ended and I met the Prospect & Footlong. Because I wasn't expecting anything from them, I was fine about it (and, of course, they DID call).

Rule 2: No hooking up with guys you actually expect to call you back.

I look like garbage

2005-11-30T22:23:00.000-05:00

I feel so ugly and fat. You know I am in a bad state when I start saying things like that because I am generally not a lady that plays that game. I don’t do that whole “Do you think I’m pretty” thing to boys. It is not cute, it is annoying. I know this. Plus, I think most women have to get honest with themselves. I know that I am a generally a very pretty girl. I also know that I would be a whole lot prettier if I didn’t spend all my time with my wet hair up, wearing ill-fitting jeans and my boyfriend’s clothes and shoes.

It is just gross. My weight is the highest it has ever been. I know that I am a healthy weight for someone 5’10”, but I don’t care. I feel fat and I will loose 10 pounds before the end of finals if I have to live on fruit and diet soda. I refuse to go into the holiday season looking like a cow. I just won’t. Not that a size 12 is a cow, but you know what I mean.

I wish I had time to exercise or buy new clothes. I just don’t. School is so overwhelming right now. I don’t have time to work out, do my hair, go to waxing, get fake nails so I stop stress biting my own nails until they bleed or take care of my skin.

Now, I am certainly not a person very focused on physical appearance. I don’t want to look a certain way so that others will think certain things about me because I conform to beauty standards. I understand that beauty is a commodity in American culture and I think contemporary beauty standards are very destructive to men and women alike. But, this isn’t about that. I don’t want to look like a supermodel, I just want to feel like myself again.

I looked like my normal self at the beginning of the semester. Now, I look like Shrek. Okay, that is an overstatement, but I don’t feel like myself. I feel fat and bloated and ugly.

In case you are wondering, my boyfriend hasn’t said anything bad to me. He says nothing except that I am beautiful and that my body is completely sexy over and over again. I guess right now I just don’t feel that way. Property is making me ugly. I knew future interests could make you crazy, but I didn’t think they could make you fat and nasty.

family bonding is strange

2005-11-29T17:21:00.000-05:00

it's strange when your boyfriend's parents nearly make you cry at the dinner table, but it's even stranger to get along with them fabulously the following year...
i guess it's good to always expect the worst. u dont get disappointed that way ;)
yeah, so i spent thanksgiving w/luis's fam, and it was suprisingly great! first off, i never have any fun whatsoever in florida (aka red state hell) so this experience was new for me in many ways.
luis and i made up on the shuttle to jfk (the best place to have deep conversations about the course of your relationship, clearly) we talked a lot about how to better communicate (in front of tons of ppl squished together on the shuttle no less) and to keep in mind that we may not always be on the same wavelength.. our schedules are so hectic right now that it seems like we are either totally stressed or we totally feel like letting loose, often not at the same time. so we talked about respecting each other's wishes, and if we aren't in synch with one another, to let the other one be. and also to learn how to talk to each other better. so that was good.
as soon as we got to florida, i was hoping for the time to go by quickly. i was expecting to be lectured about everything: how dirty, noisy, blah blah blah nyc is, how i should move down to florida, tips about nursing school, yada yada. but lo and behold, his parents were so much fun and laid back. the mood was light the entire time. i helped mama sanchez cook and she asked me to make stuffing since luis was talking about how good it was when i made it for the pre-thanksgiving bash. then the rest of his family came over and it seemed like everyone was happy to see me. then, the compliments came! (family + compliments= what's this?) mama sanchez kept telling me how beautiful i was, how much the family loves me, etc. we talked a lot about her experiences as a doctor, and i felt like i learned a lot about her in general. it was really cool. it also made me see where luis comes from. no one's family is perfect, but understanding why ppl do what they do or how they were raised can be really enlightening (as cheesy as that sounds). and dont get me wrong, there are still some things that i dont like about his parents (i.e. the whole republican thing.. right) but it's just a sigh of relief to have such a good time and get along so well after the experience that was last year. plus i really am starting to feel "a part of the family" which is sorta cool i have to admit.
anyway, my parents nearly gave me a heart attack b/c they were thinking about coming to visit us in tampa (they are about 4 hrs away) yikes, i don' t think we're quite ready for the meeting of the parental units. baby steps here, baby steps.. my mom is sorta acting jealous and/or being weird.. for ex, when she asked me about my trip, her first question was, so did they make fun of you, was it horrible? when i told her that no, she's seemed slightly disappointed. *sigh* great. i get one mom to like me and another to give me a hard time. riiight. hopefully she'll be happy when we go down there for xmas.. otherwise, i'm off to aruba for the holidays from now on!

What I Have to Offer

2005-11-25T11:59:00.000-05:00

The other night I had dinner with Jersey Shore Boy (my Ex). It was good to see him (he's having just as miserable a time being single as I am) and we talked about all his dates, my dates, what hasn't been working (clearly not much has). Anyway, he proposed an interesting theory about why I'm not getting anywhere with guys.

It turns out that when we were together, some of his friends couldn't understand why he was with me--basically because I never cooked or cleaned and my job situation is always sporadic (the actress life and all). This kind of floored me. "You mean your friends didn't want us to be together?" I asked.
"No, not that. They just couldn't understand it," he replied.
Uh, okay. At first this really upset me. Cooking and cleaning? Not my forte. And are not ever going to be (though I do make the best chocolate-chip cookies in the world). I just can't really ever see myself being a great housekeeper--I'd like to make enough to hire someone to take care of that stuff for me--and if that's what guys are looking for, well then, I'm totally screwed.

"So why were you with me?" I asked.
"You're smart, you're pretty, you're classy, you're fun. I liked that when we were out together, I was with one of the hottest girls there. You're good at talking to people at parties or business events, and you don't come off as an idiot, and you're equally at home at a dive bar and the opera," he replied.
It was clear that he had remembered that he needed to be nice, after saying something not-so-nice... "But who's looking for that, I mean, besides you?" I told him.
"I don't know--but not some regular joe. If you lost 10 pounds, you'd be a good trophy wife for a doctor or lawyer," he ventured.

Trophy wife? Um, I'm not entirely sure about that, but I do see what he's saying. Most of his friends (and Jersey Shore Boy himself) are just regular, middle-class guys, who want to have kids and a nice wife and a nice life (probably in the suburbs). And guys like that would obviously want someone who would be a good housekeeper--that would be a critical feature in choosing a mate. And that's not me. But, Jersey Shore Boy argued, there are men out there for whom housekeeping skills are of low importance. For someone who has a lot of work events, benefits and parties and such, he said I'd be a good catch--I'm attractive and intelligent, I'll wear the right thing, and you can leave me alone at the buffet table and I'll be able to take care of myself. This is where I shine (he used his company Christmas party as an example multiple times).

So, he concluded, I'm targeting the wrong guys. Now, I'm not sure my lack of housekeeping skills had anything to do with the disappearance of fellows in the past, but I get the point. Perhaps I do need to focus more on guys that are predisposed to appreciate what I have to offer--and for whom my utter lack of housekeeping skills won't be an issue. Don't really know how to go about that, but it's certainly something to consider...

Happy Thanksgiving!

2005-11-24T05:27:00.000-05:00

Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! We'd like to give thanks to all of you, for reading our blog (except for those of u who post nasty comments). Enjoy Turkey Day!

Kris, Cyn, Kim, and Sarah
The "Grow Some" Girls

classes for men

2005-11-23T09:25:00.000-05:00

haha, my friend sent me this. at least i know i'm not the only one who deals w/this behavior

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!! ALL ARE WELCOME OPEN TO MEN ONLY

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the houseupside down while screaming - Open forum

DAY TWO EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS? Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques with how tolook masculine while holding a purse

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME Individual counselors available

Would You Like a Drink?

2005-11-23T00:02:00.000-05:00

We all know that it's customary for a gentleman to offer to refill a lady's drink at a social gathering. This is just The Way It Is. And, of course, most of us girls expect this to be the case. Imagine my surprise, when out with my mom this weekend, the fellow we were talking to told us he couldn't understand why he should have to buy girls drinks, and regaled us with a tale of a time he was dancing with a girl, left her to go buy himself a drink, and returned--much to her chagrin. He couldn't understand why she got upset. My mom launched into a spiel, telling him that:
1) Women still, even in this day and age, make about 70 cents to every dollar a man makes
2) It's the "price of admission"--much like one would pay to go to the Met or the MOMA, the price of a drink gains you the attentions of a pretty girl for that period of time
3) It's only polite--good manners, much like holding a door open or saying "excuse me" when you sneeze
The fellow still couldn't understand this. He thought that as a decently good-looking, relatively charming guy, he had enough to offer without having to "bribe" girls with drinks. But the turning point came when I piped up and told him that, if I was talking to a guy, and he went to the bar alone and didn't offer me a drink I would think that was not only rude (I'll do that for my girlfriends--it's rude to go to a bar without offering to grab stuff for other people) but I would take his behavior as a clear signal that he was Not Interested--and extricate myself from the conversation. "Even if on our first date I took her out to a fancy place and spent a lot of money?" he argued.
"You wouldn't get a first date--I wouldn't give you my number, because I'd stop talking to you when that happened."

He seemed shocked. Clearly the thought that not buying a girl a drink was an indication of non-interest had never occurred to him. When saying goodbye to him a few hours later, he insisted that "next time I see you, I promise I'll buy all the drinks"--I nodded okay, but he never asked for my contact info--a pretty empty promise if you ask me.

The same night, after my mom went home, Madeline and I went to another bar, where we know the bartender, hoping to get free drinks. Unfortunately the bartender we know was arrested(!) for serving a minor, so that plan was a bust. However, I started flirting with a cute group of boys. One in particular was talking to me for about an hour--but then abruptly stopped and became involved in a tete-a-tete with one of his friends. Hrm. Okay. Clear signal.

As I started to extricate myself from their group, his pal offered me a drink. Okay, I said--but when the drinks came, I offered to pay for mine. The guy refused. Well, now I was somewhat beholden to stick around, so I began talking to this fellow--and we had a pretty good chat. We finished our drinks, and he offered to buy me another one, and, since Madeline was nowhere to be found at this point, I accepted. Soon thereafter, the guys agreed that it was time for them to go. My fellow said goodbye to me, saying "See you later." He was a bit on the dorky side, but cute, and I wanted to give him a signal that an advance would be received positively, so I laughed and said, flirtatiously, "I'm not sure how...." He got the clue. He said--"Oh, okay, well," and his friend (the one I was flirting with originally) pulled him away, saying "we have to go..."

I think my mouth literally dropped open. I was cockblocked--and I'm not even a guy. After the whole conversation earlier about drinks as an indication of interest, I had taken this fellow's plying me with alcohol as a signal to stick around. Guess not--or his friend was too forceful. But, hey, at least the guy saved me 15 bucks... ;)

Sex solves stress

2005-11-21T11:27:00.000-05:00

My memo is done! I am so happy. I just turned in the damn thing this morning at 10:45 and immediately I felt better. I swear to God, once the paper left my hand, I felt my sanity come back.

I have to thank my friends and my parents for being patient with me this week. I have been psycho and unable to think about anything other than this dumbass assignment. Thank God, they put up with me when I become crazy and neurotic. I have the best friends and it is awesome that we get to have a Pre-Thanksgiving dinner together tonight. Let’s get crunk . . . as only we can. All four of us will be there which is awesome (and unusual these days). It will be rad.

This weekend in the midst of my psychosis, I did realize something about myself. When I am at my worst, when I am too stressed to think, when I am sick and when my attitude is at absolute zero . . . I just need to get fucked.

I’m serious.

Some women don’t want to be touched when they are completely stressed out. I am not like that at all. Sex is literally the only think that makes me feel better because it gives me something else to think about and focus on. I can focus on my body and on my boyfriend’s body and on everything except what is bothering me. When I get my terrible headaches, I always try sex as my first line of remedy. It works roughly 7/10 times.

I know this is weird, but it works for me. I never said I was normal.

Speed Dating Disaster

2005-11-18T12:49:00.000-05:00

When Roxy emailed me that she missed me--and that she wanted to go speed dating this week, I thought it would be a great idea. I haven't seen her in a while, and even though I have more than enough boys in my life right now, I figured it would be fun--and why not? We had so much fun the last time we went speed dating, so at the very least it would be a good time. I was wrong.

There was really no one there that was worth mentioning. All the guys were really short--which is a problem for me (in this way, match.com is slightly better--everyone on that site who seemed interested in me was tall), and most of them weren't too bright. I know, I sound so superficial, but it's true! I did, however, totally bond with the other girls that were there--the girl next to me and I were laughing--her big goal was to find out where these guys went to college--and literally two in a row told us DeVry! Nothing wrong with that, of course, but not exactly what I'm looking for in a mate. Though there wasn't anyone I matched with, the girls were all super cool, so 5 of us decided to go somewhere else--we were on the LES, after all, so no need to waste the evening. Lots of places were hopping, at 9pm on a Thursday, and we met gobs and gobs of guys. I think I did the worst--the cute Canadian I was flirting with told me he would definitely come to my show (I gave him a postcard) but left without asking for any contact info (boo!). All the other girls seemed to meet and exchange contact numbers with prospects.

After leaving, Roxy and I went to get a slice and a cute Australian started talking to us--and a cute British boy joined us, too. We went for a nightcap at an Australian bar around the corner--and I did exchange numbers with the Brit, but I doubt I'll hear from him (he seems like the type to just booty call). The Australian, though, seemed like GREAT boyfriend material--and way into Roxy. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her!

So, even though the speed dating was a total waste, I got to meet a bunch of cool girls and still had a blast. Sometimes it's fun to just go bar hopping and flirt!

I can feel my anger growing

2005-11-17T17:18:00.000-05:00

Okay, I know this is a dating blog and I am working on a post about the mating habits of the law school library. But, this post is about my rage. I'm sorry for being off topic, but everyone needs a place to vent.

So, the biggest assignment of the semester is due on Monday and the library is full of freaky behavior. Everyone is stressed out and everyone is on the brink of collapse at any moment. This is of course why it is completely awful that the internet is broken in the library. We need the internet to do our assignment! Clearly, I can do without IM or blogger, but I need to use Lexis and Westlaw to make sure my cases for my memo are good law. I just saw two people almost assult a library official who was telling us that the problem won't be fixed for roughly a week. This sucks.

You may be asking . . . how is Cynthia writing this post if the internet is broken at school? Good question, the worst part is that the internet works everywhere in the building except in the library. So, I am sitting in a classroom trying to work on my paper and avoid killing people. Basically, the entire first year class is sitting in about 5-6 classrooms because it is the only place to work. BTW- It is not good for us all to be in the same place. There is too much nervous energy when we all get together. But no, I can't go anywhere else. That's not exactly true, I was studying at Starbucks until a few minutes ago.

Really, I am making progress on my paper, but I am also annoyed. I pay too much money to put up with this.

WHY DOES THE INTERNET HAVE TO BE BROKEN DURING LONG MEMO WEEK?

Thank you for reading this rant.

Irish Guy -- date 2?

2005-11-17T00:40:00.000-05:00

So, after the Irish guy, hereafter known as the "Irish PI," discovered my blog, and wrote that *gulp* comment, I sent the following apology email (worded with no hint of what the blog was or said, just in case it was NOT him):

Please accept my most sincere apology. I really consider my blog to be like a personal diary--I purposefully keep names (even and most especially mine!) out of it, and never even dreamed that you would read and/or find it. Anyone who knows me well, knows of my infamous tendency to exaggerate--and this entry was no exception.

I was hoping to see you again, if just to talk this over with you, but I guess there's no point to that now. I really do think you're a cool guy--and I'm sorry if my comments hurt/and or offended you.

I really did feel terrible about the whole thing--clearly that post was NOT meant for his eyes. Honestly, I never expected to hear from him again (why would I?) but he actually replied, with perhaps the coolest email ever.

I see you saw my posting...i promised the other night that i wasn't going to go looking for your blog...i have this thing about respecting a persons privacy (hence i left names out of the posting). However, like all people when i go on a date, i share the experience with my friends after the fact. It was in fact my best friend who is an avid blogger who went looking for you. I got a phone call at 2am screaming about what a "f@#$ing a$$face" i was for allowing it to happen (my best friend is female in case i didnt mention that).

Your blog comments didn't hurt, i have pretty thick skin...i just had hoped to talk about this mess and perhaps be honest in person or on the phone...and then maybe (and its a remote maybe) we could have found some kind of friendship down the line...i understand the whole kids issue and i don't take it personally...it has plagued my efforts at meeting someone nice and worthwhile for a long time. You are a wonderful person and i dearly wish that you could have just told me then and there that this wasn't going any further romantically. I am always open to making new friends.

If you think it is possible that we might manage to salvage something out of all of this...then you should feel free to give me a call or email. If you'ld rather never speak to me again, i can understand that - it is in all our natures to avoid that which makes us uncomfortable. But rest assured, i am not going to bug you like some bad penny... I believe that my friend put it best when she described our date as "the definition of crashing into a wall, rolling over a ditch and then bursting into flames"...she's a dramaturge so you can't blame her if that sounds a little graphic. I have no desire to make it worse for you.

I do wish you all the best with your dating endevours, it would be nice to salvage something from this mess... and despite the horror of our first date, i would have gone out with you again simply because i enjoyed your company - right up to the point before the whole thing became a disaster ...but i would have stayed stone cold sober and would have apologized profusely.

Woah. I was shocked. The maturity and honesty from this email totally floored me (and Cyn, too, she read it!). So I emailed him back. Told him if he wanted to talk things over, I could meet him Wednesday night.

So, tonight, we met up. Went to a diner, had some food, neither one of us ordered a drink (of course). I apologized again (and again)--but he said there was no need, and told me upfront that he was actually interested in still pursuing things with me (WTF?!?), and asked if I would even consider it. I told him that the kids thing, the divorced thing, the hook up thing all totally weirded me out, and so I didn't think so. The guy actually made a lot of good arguments for why the kids/divorced thing shouldn't be an issue--that it's not about who he's dating, that he keeps that part of his life separate. And as for the hook up thing, we wouldn't be the first people to actually date after hooking up. I did have to admit that he had some valid points. And to be honest, up until the point where he told me he had kids, I was thinking I should go on a 2nd date with him, because he seemed like a cool enough guy. Nothing else worthy of elimination, certainly.

It was kinda weird. Since he found the blog (he claims he only read the one post, but quoted liberally from it, and says won't read it ever again... we'll see...) I don't really have anything to hide from him, so I could be totally honest about how friggin neurotic and screwed up I am (as you all so clearly know). He didn't seem to have a problem with anything--and he made me laugh a lot, and was a perfect gentleman the entire time.

So... upshot is, he got me to agree that I should at least give him a chance to prove himself a worthy contender. And got me to agree to another date with him. We'll see. I'm not entirely sold, but he's certainly the most honest, upfront guy I've met in a long time. And that does go a long way (the charming Irish accent--and the fact that he's a good kisser--don't hurt either).

Haiku

2005-11-16T23:58:00.000-05:00

Okay, this is the coolest thing ever. Thanks!

Cosmic Joke

2005-11-14T23:09:00.000-05:00

After the string of boys I've been dating who've lost interest in me (most after 3 dates, of course), the universe has decided to play a cosmic joke on me. Last week I had two (2!) dates with different men who seemed plenty interested in me, but I couldn't even fathom seeing myself with.

Bachelor #1:
A Music Producer. He started chatting me up on the street last Saturday (before the Kravitz concert I attended with Damn It Anyway) when I realized I had auditioned for his musical a few years earlier. After promises of some studio time and the like, he suggested we get together that week. I'm not entirely sure what I thoughtthat would entail, but when we met up Wednesday, it was, indeed, quite the date. He's far too old for me (in his 40s, I gather) and not the swiftest tool in the shed. Passionate, clearly, but not someone I find attractive, nor, I doubt, someone I ever will. He was so awkward on the date. Clearly the Italian place we went to intimidated him--he made me order for both of us (I think he was afraid of mispronouncing Rigatoni and Pappardelle), didn't eat more than a bite of his pasta, repeated the same stories about himself over and over again, and insisted on paying, despite my repeated attempts to split the check. He called the next morning, and I didn't return his call, but I ran into him on the subway on the way to class Friday and he questioned why I didn't call him back. He suggested we go out this week--and I couldn't reject him on the train, in front of people, so I told him to call me today. He did, and left a message saying to meet him tomorrow at 7. I couldn't call him back (he has no cell phone) so when he called again tonight, I told him the truth: I have rehearsal tomorrow. When he tried to reschedule with me I told him "I don't want to give you the wrong idea, I just can't see you romantically" and then he copped an attitude, saying "I just wanted to know if you wanted to get some food, but whatever" then hung up. Ug. I hate being honest--but it's much easier than trying to avoid someone who is so insistently and repeatedly trying to contact me. Also, it's the right thing to do. Even though I get attitude for doing it.

Bachelor #2:
My last match.com date, with an Irish fellow. Though he brought flowers (to a first date? with a stranger? Never, NEVER a good sign--those guys are always super desperate), he seemed promising--27, getting his masters in sociology, good job, cute Irish accent--until he dropped this little gem of information on our date: He has two (2!) kids, ages 8 and 3, with two different women--one in Ireland and one here in the city (no, this was not on his match.com profile). We had already agreed to have drinks after dinner, and I felt kinda bad for the guy, and didn't want to end the date solely on that basis (I wanted to give him a chance), so off we headed to a bar around the corner from my house (mistake #1). We were talking, though, and the kid thing totally weirded me out, so I figured, "hey, if I drink more, I won't feel so uncomfortable" (mistake #2). 5 martinis later, he walks me home, comes upstairs. We're cuddling on the couch (quite chastely) but I didn't want Cynthia or Madeline to be freaked out when they awoke in the morning, so we moved into my room--and all of a sudden we're hooking up (no, no Irish curse there). Not what I wanted to do, but I was not thinking right. The worst part was the 6am poking his dick into me, while whispering in my ear "are you on contraception?" How nasty is that?? He doesn't even know me and he's trying to fuck me, while I'm half asleep, without a condom. I think I can figure out how he got saddled with 2 kids he barely sees. I told him "no" and he stopped and we went back to sleep. At 10 I woke up. He left with me (I had rehearsal) and we walked to the train together. How unbelievably awkward, though he did tell me repeatedly how he wanted to see me again, how he's sorry if we went too far, etc. He called twice(!) yesterday. I tried calling him back tonight, but he didn't pick up. I left a brief message. If he does call, I'll have to go through the same routine as with the Music Producer. Not fun.

What did I do to get such bad karma?? I'm not sure which is worse--total-potential guys who aren't into me, or no-potential guys that are?

Why match.com sucks

2005-11-11T01:30:00.000-05:00

I friggin HATE match.com! So I go on there, I don't know why, because I'm obsessive, because I wonder when the last time Karaoke Boy logged in. It says 3 days! Whenever we went out, it always said "active within 24 hours" or "online now!" Ug. It sucks that you can even check that on there. Just makes for more obsessing, I think.

I think he met the love of his life last Thurs night. Would explain the change of plans, and the suddenly not calling. Not that it even matters, but still. I want to be the love of someone's life. *sigh* Grrrrrrrrrr.

drunken post

2005-11-10T22:34:00.000-05:00

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
we're drunmk
dan, kristin and i are going to have an ORRRRGGGGGYYYYYY
wooohooo, partay of 3. too bad cynthia left! no penis for cynthia! more for us! =P
we're friends again! how exciting! fighting is bad. so bad. not cool.
dan is awesome. dan rules. dan likes to lick poontang.
=)
luis has a hot penis. too bad he's not here too

More Emails....

2005-11-10T01:58:00.000-05:00

So, as I suspected, I've not heard from Karaoke Boy. After he got the photos, he had no need to respond to my email... so c'est la vie. I should have known when dinner was cancelled that something was up. (Just deleting old voicemails today, and on Thursday he said "Just calling to make plans, not only for dinner Saturday, but for going out after as well" ... but by Saturday he'd dropped the dinner. Weird.) Typical behavior--after 3 dates, they all get strange and disappear. It wouldn't be my life if it wasn't like that. Lesson learned, though! No changing plans for boys! (I could have gone to a pal's party--apparently I missed an awesome time. Serves me right!)

Also hadn't heard from PT Barnum, so I thought that was over too--but I did hear from him yesterday. Turns out he was out of town. So maybe that will go somewhere, or at least to 3 dates... ;) We'll see.

Have been exchanging emails/phone calls with an Irish boy (a leftover from my match.com days...). We have a 1st date scheduled for Saturday. However, he left a message yesterday, telling me that he has his roommate's car and would I like to get out of the city for dinner? Um, let's think about this. NO?!? Who gets in a car with someone they've never met? I very politely responded:

A drive sounds fun, though I did spend all day Sunday in a car going up to my niece's christening and back. Would you mind staying in the city? Hope that's not a problem.

Is that okay? I don't want to be rude, but I don't feel comfortable putting myself in a position to be raped and killed either.

Honestly, I'm just getting weary of this whole dating process. But everytime I think I want to take a break, more boys emerge, and I find it soooo hard to say no....

I swear, all those years of being boy crazy but too unattractive to date are coming back to haunt me. Now that I'm single again and no longer repulsive, it's like a revolving door...

Kristin's Rules of Order: Rule 1

2005-11-09T16:30:00.000-05:00

People always question why I never pursue guys, why I never call a guy twice, rarely initiate plans, never initiate physical contact. No, I'm not a subscriber to that silly Rules book, though I do think He's Just Not That Into You is brilliant. My rules all come from the school of hard knocks.

During my last extended period of singledom, I made a lot of mistakes. I had never really been single before (Boston Boy had snapped me up at 17 and was the first guy to show any interest in me) so I really had no idea how to play the game (no matter what anyone says, dating IS a game). And things were tough.

The first 3 months of being single were a total mess (aren't they always?). On my 22nd Birthday, my roommate and I threw a crazy party (which has now become a yearly tradition). Kim and Sarah were there, as was this really cute guy. His girlfriend was there with him-but all the girls at the party agreed that he was the cutest boy there. And he was very attentive to me. He told me how he had a thing for redheads (I had dyed my hair for a movie I was in) and insisted upon doing shot after birthday shot of tequila with me. I got wasted, fast. At some point he and his girlfriend left with a bunch of other people-but half an hour later he returned, sans girlfriend, and resumed his strategy of pouring tequila down my throat. I must have gone through one bottle by myself, as 2 bottles had been polished off the next day.

At the end of the night, everyone was leaving, but the cute boy was sticking around. I knew that we'd end up having sex if he stayed, so in my falling-down drunken state I figured if I invited one of the other guys to stay, the cute boy would have to leave. Unfortunately, the 2 boys I propositioned were very gentlemanly-they both turned me down 'cuz I was wasted, but told me that they would be happy to take me up on my offer if I still felt that way when sober. Everyone left, and my poor roommate Tristin (yes, our names rhyme), puking in the bathroom, was still coherent enough to tell me that the cute boy had to go home. But I was long past the point of decision making, and when I went back to my room, the cute boy was waiting for me.

From what little I remember, it was the worst sex of my life. The guy was beyond rough with me, didn't even bother to take his boxers off, and left as soon as he was done. The next day he called, ostensibly to apologize, but really to ascertain if we had used a condom or not (we had).

The worst, though, was yet to come. I was in pain for the next few days, and on the film set I discovered a large sore. I freaked out, of course, and gave the worst performance of my life-I couldn't concentrate on anything. The old Jewish doctor I went to the next day, luckily, was very funny. They tested me for everything (all negative), but he said it was just too rough and that I needed to "close up shop" for a bit.

When Boston Boy heard the story, he insisted I had been raped. I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but the experience led to Rule No. 1: No sex with anyone I'm not dating. It had been my first and last one night stand.

Testicle Man!

2005-11-07T16:47:00.000-05:00

Omg, this is so cool. He obviously doesn't have to Grow Some!

men getting waxed.. as if

2005-11-04T16:27:00.000-05:00

so last night i went for a brazilian wax. dont ask me why i do this. dont even ask. b/c i couldn't even tell you. something about enjoying pain i guess? i dont know.
anyway, with my legs up in the air and hot wax w/in millimeters of my clit, holding my breath, hoping that my clit doesn't get ripped off along w/my hair, i asked the woman if a lot of guys come in for waxing. she told me that i'd be suprised at how many of their clients are men whose girlfriends dragged them in. she said they usually get their backs waxed first, and then as time goes on they end up getting almost their entire bodies waxed.
now, luis has an ass hair problem. i can't even call it a "problem" really. u know how they say that the rain forest is being depleted? well, that's not exactly true-- just look at his ass-- the rain forest has just been forested elsewhere. you know that i love him b/c his ass hair doesn't even faze me anymore. jersey shore boy first warned me about his ass hair, but i thought he was joking. lo and behold, the 2nd time we had sex i noticed it. i was utterly speechless and amazed. it's something u hear about, an urban myth, but never something u see. so much hair. sooo sooo much hair. for shits and giggles, luis like to display it too. fun times!
but anyway, my question is what kind of boyfriend allows themselves to be dragged to get waxed? maybe i'm just not attracted to metro-sexual type guys. or, it's not even that. i'm not attracted to guys who would be dragged to getting this done. as soon as i mentioned this to luis, he was like who are these guys? i like that he wouldn't change. i wouldn't go to extremes to change myself, my hair color, my boobs, etc. i wax for myself, not b/c someone aks me to. i guess he's lucky though that i'm totally f-ed up and able to cuddle up next to his hairy ass on a consistent basis..

Single and Suffering...

2005-11-03T16:32:00.000-05:00

You can’t be single for a while without hitting the occasional patch of depression. Too many disappointments pile up, too many nights alone or with the wrong person, too little of the right kind of attention. It’s inevitable, of course, but when it hits, it hits hard.

I’m having one of those days. All my pals are going out Friday night, but I can’t make it on time because of my show, and by the time I can get there, at 10:30, everyone will be going home. No one is free Saturday, when I’m free. Though I haven’t been seeing my girls as much, at least I usually have dates scheduled—but not this week. I have no one to hang out with this weekend.

The thought of this was so depressing to me this morning that I burst into tears. I was so bad I couldn’t even go to class, today—I couldn’t face showing up a tear-stained mess. So I did what any normal girl would do in this situation: I called my ex-boyfriend at work, sobbing hysterically.

He actually was very sympathetic, listened to my plight, apologized for breaking up with me. Of course the depression is not his fault, but it was nice to have a friendly ear, someone who knows what I’m going through (he doesn’t have any prospects, either, and he doesn’t have a lot of friends).

I remember being single at the young age of 22 with Kim. Though I had my occasional sad moments, we had a blast. We went out at least once a weekend, more often twice, and had an amazing time. Sometimes we met boys, sometimes we didn’t. But we always had lots of fun. Knowing that she was always there to hang out with was a great source of strength and support for me. Even if there were no boys to be had, I knew I could always hang out with her.

But times have changed. Then, Kim was working at a day job and was taking a few classes—but didn’t have the schedule she has now. So there was plenty of free time to party and hang out. Even if I was doing a show, we could still meet up at 11pm and have a whole night of fun ahead of us. Katie, the other girl we’d go out with, has moved to San Francisco, and isn’t around either. Now that I’m 26, going out with my girlfriends on a Friday or Saturday night is no longer an option.

It hasn’t really been that much of an issue, before. I’ve filled the last 3 months with a bevy of boys, and that first month I went out with Kim and Luis all the time. Dates with the Prospect, MacB, Footlong, British Scientist, have distracted me. The four of us girls used to have dinner parties every week. And before Sarah got back with the Manchild, I’d go out with her sometimes, too. But now I find I have no one to hang out with (unless I want to be the 3rd, or 5th, or 7th wheel—which, again, seems to highlight my state).

I’m sick of the match.com thing, and prefer meeting people at parties or bars (I actually do okay at the bar thing, using a trick Kim and I developed with my digital camera). But to meet people, I need friends to go with. And none of my friends are able to attend.

Everyone says stay at home, watch a movie. But sitting at home, alone, only serves to depress me more. I’m certainly not going to meet anyone sitting at home alone, nor will I even have the possibility of a good time. Friday nights are okay, since I get home so late anyway (and I’ve had my fair share of those already) but the prospect of hanging out on Saturday from 7pm on, with no hope of having fun, is a dire one.

So what’s a girl to do? The ex says he’ll come over and we can have sex…

Maybe I should just get some Prozac.

Emails, Emails....

2005-11-02T15:02:00.000-05:00

So I ended up waiting 2 days to respond to Karaoke boy. Not because I was trying to be all coy, or whatever, but because I hadn't uploaded my pics yet, and didn't know what to say to him. I finally formulated this response:

Hey Karaoke Boy,

Yeah, had a blast with you and your pals. They’re so cool—J was so fun, and your roommate's Pedro outfit was incredible. And you didn’t make such a bad Napoleon Dynamite yourself. Wish my friends could have stayed out, but that’s couples for ya... It was nice to put my prom dress on again last night—did you do anything for Halloween proper?

Glad you liked Big Nick’s—the burgers are great, right?

I’ll email you the photos as soon as I find the cord to my camera (hopefully tonight). They’re pretty cute—I wonder who I like better, you or Napoleon? ;)

Kristin

Notice I used Sarah's "question" technique (she argues that unless you put a question in an email, they don't have to respond) and expressed my interest. I'm afraid that once he gets the pics, it's bye-bye Karaoke boy, but I'll try and upload them tonight. I fear it may be time to move on to other prospects, if I don't hear from him tonight/tomorrow... Clearly I'm just too accustomed to having people lose interest after date three.

BUT! PT Barnum JUST emailed me!!! (He should have called, but still....). He wrote:

Kristin,
It was so good to meet you the other night! You'll be sickly pleased to know, that our good friend Clark Kent spent at least an hour after you left falling down and getting sick outside the bar. That guy was a mess!

I hope you had a good time in spite of his lacivious advances! If you have that photo of us that would be cool. I seem to remember it being a good picture.

Well, have a good one. Hopefully I will talk to you soon.

PT Barnum

Woo hoo! Now I need to think of what to write.... (and now I really have to upload those photos...) Looks like I'll have someone to replace Karaoke boy when he unexpectedly disappears, surely any minute now...

Got My Halloween Flirt On...

2005-11-01T01:09:00.000-05:00

Okay, well, even though I would rather have been partying hard with my masters gals, Cyn and Kim, I understand they have priorities that are not getting drunk and meeting boys.

But my priority is still getting drunk and meeting boys. (Am I too old for this? Probably, once I'm no longer single. But in the meantime....)

And I'm happy to report I did get my Halloween flirt on. Not too many people were at this costume party, but all were friendly and I had a great time. Some wasted fellow dressed as Clark Kent repeatedly accosted me. Gave me his card, told me I was too beautiful to wear a mask (part of my costume), and on and on. The funniest part was hearing him saying the same things, word for word, to another young lady just behind me at the bar. Once Clark gave me his #, I thought I was safe from his advances, but about an hour later, he approached me again. A friend of mine noticed, and tried to pull me away, but he wouldn't stop following us until I told him we were having an "emergency" and retreated to the ladies bathroom. Then, each time he came near, I became VERY friendly with whatever gentleman I was conversing with. Two gentleman in particular seemed particulary effective at keeping Clark at bay (they were both ~ 6'3" and 225). At one point, neither of the big guys were around, so I became quite friendly with a fellow dressed as Zorro (yes, I filled him in on the particulars) and apparently, while I was getting friendly with Zorro, Clark asked my friend "Am I not as good looking as Zorro?" How pathetic.

One of the 6'3" guys seemed particularly interested in "protecting" me. He was dressed as PT Barnum and came around to talk quite a few times. When I was leaving the bar, Clark was outside (puking?) and PT Barnum was smoking. I grabbed onto him "Hey, you!" and made him walk me down the street to escape from Clark, at which point he asked for my #. Yippee! He's 5-6 points on the checklist, too! So even if I never hear from Karaoke boy again (oh, I have to send him those pics tomorrow...) I have some hope. I think I like this guy better... well, I barely know him. But so far... (and if he calls, ever...). Fingers crossed!

I think I'm finding I like the NON-online dating thing much better than the online dating thing. Whatdya think?

Those days are gone

2005-10-31T19:21:00.000-05:00

I remember the time in my life when Halloween was the biggest night of the year. At my college, it was a major holiday filled with cool costumes, drinking and debauchery. We would stay out until sunrise and then come home and vomit.

Now, I am 25 and still in the law school library trying to complete tomorrow’s homework and franticly doing the research for my long memo. No Halloween fun for me. These days, I can barely stay out past midnight, even on weekends. I just have too much work to do to sit in loud bars where I can’t hear my companions with the loud and drunk slowly getting on my nerves. When given the choice I prefer quiet nights with my girls or my man where we can talk and laugh over dinner and wine.

My boyfriend and my friends come first, but then school has to be my next highest priority. My former quest for the next drink or crazy party is completely over for the time being. But, I’m still lucky that I have a life outside the walls of the library or our class building. I’m fortunate to have friends that exist apart from school. I’m beyond fortunate to have a boyfriend who has been through all this before. But, there is something to be said for my school friends. We all live the same reality. There is a library full of people that also won’t be enjoying Halloween mischief. They understand why it is time to go home from the bar after two drinks and why some nights you can’t go out at all.

Do I miss all the fun I just to have? Answer: Sort of. Those days were fun and much more carefree. But, I’m happy to be back at school. I need a different kind of fun now and more low key nights, at least until this school year is over.

But, I’ll always remember those crazy Halloweens when I was too drunk to stand and when my costume choice was way more important than my work Those nights were fun . . . hella fun.

cozy halloween in

2005-10-31T12:47:00.000-05:00

i never really liked halloween. maybe that's cuz i grew up in queens and halloween always seemed so dangerous (or my mom made it out to be that way) all i remember though were teenagers egging everyhting- school buses, my house, random people. and then the shaving cream. everywhere. to make matters worse, some smart asses decided to disguise their shaving cream with nair and there were all these stories (urban legends?) of ppl getting their hard naired. not to mention the stories of razors and poison in candy, yada yada
in recent years, i have always ran the nyc marathon so halloween was a downer cuz i couldn't go wild and crazy and drink. this year, because school has sucked out all the fun and happiness that i have in my life, i am not doing anything either.
luis though just emailed me and said he'd pick up some scary movies for us. that'll be fun at least. any reccomendations? exorcist and the shining are 2 of my all time scary movies. i feel like anything scares me but religious type things def freak me out more than say jason or chucky.

Karaoke Boy update

2005-10-31T11:49:00.000-05:00

So, I've heard from Karaoke boy already. This time, via email:

Hi Kristin,
Hope you had fun "halloweening it up" with me and my friends last night... It was nice meeting some of your friends too--before they high-tailed it out of there! Ahh well, what can you do?And you looked very sexy in your prom dress... And of course in your Steve Maddens! ;o)
Big Nick's Diner was a good call... I think that was up there with the best pizza burgers I've had!
Just wondering if you had a chance to upload the photos you took with your digital camera... I'd love to see them. If you get the chance, could you e-mail them to me?
Thanks, :o)
Karaoke Boy

Good that I've heard from him. Not so good that there's no mention of getting together again. (In my drunken state, I seem to recall making plans with him for another date, but can't really recall the particulars...) Ahh well, what can you do?

I should be, however, attending a theatre company Halloween party tonight. Which should not only be lots of fun, but provide me with an opportunity to meet lots of people (boys too!). So I should be able to get my Halloween flirt on, at least!

What's a Modern Girl To Do?

2005-10-30T18:25:00.000-05:00

Maureen Dowd has an interesting article in the Times magazine today, about the roll of modern women and how we're regressing from the feminist movement. Nothing new, but an interesting read, nonetheless.

It's interesting, because I'm reading this on the heels of last night's date with Karaoke Boy--one that went entirely dutch. In all the dates I've had (before I was in a relationship with the guy), I can recall none that were split down the middle. I offer, of course, but he never takes me up on it. Or, as Dowd writes:

But it doesn't matter if the woman is making as much money as the man, or more, she expects him to pay, both to prove her desirability and as a way of signaling romance - something that's more confusing in a dating culture rife with casual hookups and group activities. (Once beyond the initial testing phase and settled in a relationship, of course, she can pony up more.)

It's true, though. I do expect the boy to pay. And faced with last night, when I wasn't offered even a single drink, it was frustrating. Especially since there were tons of boys around that would be more than willing to buy me drinks, but of course, I can't flirt with any of them, I'm on a date!

I know I shouldn't complain. He did pay for our first date ($140 worth of drinks & food) and paid for all our drinks on our Karaoke date (I paid for our burgers afterwards, but that was like $25). The thing is, though, I'm not sure I would have wanted to go to such a pricey bar if I had known I'd be paying so much--I'm unemployed right now, completely broke, and missed my friend's party (free booze, what?) to be with this guy. Grrrr.

He was totally giving me mixed signals. Sunday night he called, we agree we're going to go to DINNER. Then he calls Thursday to clarify plans (we hadn't said where we were meeting), leaves a message. I call him back, leave a message. Then I don't hear from him AT ALL. It's Saturday, 4pm, and we're supposed to meet up at 7:30. I haven't heard a word from him. So I send him a text message: "What's up for tonight?" He calls right away, is like "Oh, we were just trying to figure out where we're going, let's meet at 10pm at such-and-such bar." I'm like.... uh.... okay (don't know what happened to dinner, but I don't want to be a bitch, so...). We meet up at the bar, and he's very attentive. But, no joke, doesn't even try to buy me a drink all night. Cynthia & Princeton Lawyer say that it just sounds like he's broke. Other than the $$ thing (and the not calling thing) it was a totally awesome date--he was all over me, making plans to hang out again, very attentive, nice. We made out a lot. It was fun. But that nagging feeling just stayed with me all night. Good sign, though, I met his friends and they knew things about me "You're from California, right? You're an actress, right?" so he'd obviously told them something...

I dunno. I'm totally confused. What else is new?

Just to confuse matters...

2005-10-29T04:47:00.000-04:00

Okay, um, so, yeah. Jersey Shore Boy spent the night last night. And yes. We had sex. It was fucking awesome (there's something to be said for someone who knows your body)...

Except that somehow it made me sad. I don't want to get back with him, even though the sex was really good. And I get the impression that he wants to get back together with me.

I'm a little nervous, because I haven't heard from Karaoke Boy about our plans for tonight yet. (He called me Thursday lunch, I called him and left a message Thursday night, and have not heard from him).

However, I met a totally cute Taiwanese boy that I've been making out with for the last 2 hours (have I mentioned I'm a total EGG? Opposite of a Banana. Asian Boys need apply.) Hopefully Karaoke Boy will clarify our plans for tonight.

But what to do about Jersey Shore Boy? This complicates things......

And the Prize for Longevity Goes To...

2005-10-26T02:59:00.000-04:00

You know what I just realized? It's now been 2 months since I met Footlong (aka Tennis Boy). He's been there through the MacB drama, through all the British Scientist stuff, around during the Pizza Boy incident. I've been dating him throughout all four of our birthdays, and he even attended two of the celebrations. I know I only see him every other week, but still. He should get some sort of award or something, for sticking around a while...

The Priss and the Manchild

2005-10-25T00:02:00.000-04:00

Who would have thought that the Priss and the Manchild make such a perfect couple?

The Priss
Mature. Responsible. Aristocratic. Excuse me. The Priss.

Prisses are the smartest of all female types. You're highly perceptive, and confident in your judgements. You'd take brutal honesty over superficiality any time--your friends always know where they stand with you. You're completely unfake. Don't tell me that's not a word. You're also excellent at redirecting internal negative energy.

These facts indicate people are often intimidated by you. They also fall for you, hard. You have a distant, composed allure that many find irresistible. If only more of them lived up to your standards.

You were probably the last among your friends to have sex. And the first to pretend that you're pregnant. LOL. Though you're inclined to use sex as weapon, at least it's not as one of mass destruction. You're choosier than most about your partners. A supportive relationship is what you're really after. Whether you know it or not, you need something steady & long-term. And soothing.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Playboy, The Loverboy

CONSIDER: The Manchild

The Manchild
Hopeful. Awkward. Soft-headed. Fire intrigues you. You are The Manchild.

Okay, Manchildren have some good qualities. They can be unpredictable, brash, magnetic--and therefore highly charismatic. Particularly, you're passionate and are often a hell of a lot of fun.

You can be unthinking and hurtful, and we think you LIKE seeing bad things happen. You've had a moderate number of relationships, but broken a disproportionate number of hearts. In total, you mean well, but don't really have it together.

It's up to you, of course, whether to continue dating. There are plenty of women out there who do deserve you. But you've heard our advice.

I’m one of those lucky women dating The Manchild. My current boyfriend, who has been referred to as The Hated-Ex on previous blog posts, is definitely The Manchild. He is often cold and insensitive, and not because he means to, but because he is simply clueless. He often doesn’t take the time to think about the other person, and even when he does he gets everything all wrong. He is just horrible at discerning other people’s feelings. This is definitely a horrible fault, but I know that he loves me and does his best to please me. Even with all his imperfections, he can make me happy like no other person can. It helps that we share the same interest and sense of humor. I also appreciate the fact that we can talk about everything. He’s always open and honest, and respects my opinions. As the passage above states, he’s a “a hell of a lot of fun” and I find it hard not to be drawn to him.

Phew!

2005-10-24T16:21:00.000-04:00

So, last night, Karaoke Boy called. Phew! We now have plans for a dinner date Saturday (the only night I'm semi-free)--which is, of course the big Halloween night out! He'll be in costume (as Napoleon Dynamite) so the pressure's on for me to have some sort of costume... So, my new roommate, Madeline (who replaced Hottie Roommate), helped me go through all my stuff and pick something out. I'm going to wear my prom dress and a mask I got at Mardi Gras 2 years ago and just be a masquerade girl -- it's a very elegant and pretty outfit. So that should be fun. From there, I think we might split up, and I'll head to a Halloween party in Brooklyn (turns out I only have matinees on Saturday and no evening show, so that should work) or, if things are going well, maybe I'll meet up with his friends, depending...

Also, I just heard from Footlong(Tennis Boy). What? After he left my party and I didn't hear from him, I assumed everything was over. But I just got the following email:
Hi Kristin, How did the rest of your party go last weekend? Sorry about leaving early, but I was exhausted and you seemed very drunk, so I figured it would be best if I headed home. Not much is new on my end. Work is blah as usual. Had a pretty uneventful weekend as I was feeling a little under the weather with a cold. I saw that movie "Two For the Money." Pretty good I must say. My parents are heading into town this weekend for the Breeder's Cup. Should be fun; they've never seen my place. What have you been up to?

I seriously thought I'd never hear from him again. Strange. He doesn't have the BF potential of Karaoke Boy, but is still sweet (and I would like to get another look at his hot body...). Hrm. What to do?

Strange fact: Karaoke Boy and Footlong have the same name--though thankfully they go by different nicknames. It still cracks me up, though, as they are the only boys I am dating now. Ha!

It's Raining in my Heart...

2005-10-23T03:54:00.000-04:00

As exciting as it can be sometimes, being single in New York sometimes gives you nights that are truly depressing. Like tonight. I was slightly disappointed that I haven't heard from Karaoke Boy yet (I know, it's early, but I've been spoiled of late, usually hearing from guys the next day. And too many times burned makes me suspicious of everyone, of course), and completely depressed about this show I'm in (each performance is, I think, more torturous than the last--I hate every second of it. Not why I became an actress...). So what I really needed was a good night out to flirt to make myself feel happy, hopeful, and attractive (I know, I shouldn't rely on boys for validation, but, well, I do. So sue me.).

It was the director of my show's birthday, so we all go out to this ale house. I was thinking there would be single boys about (aren't there always single boys about?) but all of her friends have coupled up. Yes, all of them. (As have all of my friends, which certainly doesn't help my single state of mind). And the place was teeming with guys, but we were stuck in the corner at our own table, completely isolated from all of them. (So close... yet so far away...) And I couldn't just up and go talk to random guys while ignoring my director and her friends, so I chatted away with the couples, the other actors in my show, the director and her husband, etc., etc..

I also, being jobless, don't really have the financial resources to get myself drunk, so I'm slowly sipping away as everyone else gets more and more intoxicated. Finding yourself single and sober with a bunch of drunken couples is not anyone's idea of a good time. And the bar clears out. Suddenly there are no boys at all! I've lost my chance. However, one of the actresses in my show was there, and we had talked about trolling for boys when we were done. She also lives somewhat near me, so I assumed that we'd take the train together. So I stick around much longer than I'd like (I'm not really having fun, after all) to wait for her to get ready to go. Well, we all end up leaving around 2, and I'm told that my co-star is going to go home with the director (possibly for a threesome with her and her husband? I'm not entirely sure, but that seemed to be the implication). Soooooooooo great. I'm sober, just spent my last dime, didn't talk to any boys--and Karaoke Boy hasn't called, spent the evening talking to people I didn't really want to talk to, it's raining, and now I have to walk 2 miles to the subway alone, and there's no one for me to check other bars out with (and no, i'm not cool enough to brave the Village bars alone on a Saturday night. No sir.). What a waste.

It's easy to see why "couple" friends and "single" friends end up drifting apart. This is a brand new scenario for me, though--before, everyone I knew was just dating "someone" not "The One." But the couples, well, I just don't think they understand anymore. How hard it is to be alone here--and how completely depressing. And to see all your best friends with guys that they're most likely going to end up marrying--and you all alone? It's enough to put any girl into a funk. Add the show from hell into the mix, and you've got a very unhappy camper.

Uh-Oh, I'm starting to get attached...

2005-10-22T04:47:00.000-04:00

Just got back from date #2 with the new, normal guy (Let's call him Karaoke Boy for the sake of having a nickname). It's weird. I really like him, yet I feel I can be totally honest with him. We each shared some dating horror stories (a no-no, I know, yet it doesn't seem to matter with him, somehow!!) and had a really fun time doing karaoke. A totally fun and unique 2nd date, and right up my alley, of course! Again, talking to him seems to be the easiest thing ever. We shared a cab, and as he was getting out we shared a totally sweet first kiss. Short but sweet and very very yummy, with a promise of good things to come.

The weirdest part? I have prospects for other dates, and yet I don't want to date them. Something about this guy makes me not want to date anyone else, not even for the sake of the rotation. I know the rotation is there to keep me from being neurotic, but I don't feel neurotic--I just don't want to date anyone else right now. I know, we're entering into dangerous territory here, but I don't know. I'm not 100% sure if he'll call again, but I don't want to even venture out to meet new boys at this juncture. Bizzare. I don't think I've ever felt BOTH not-neurotic-yet-interested AND not-willing-to-date-other-people at the same time. Is this how it's supposed to go, perhaps?

Test! (Sorry, I had to!)

2005-10-19T02:25:00.000-04:00

Oooh, ooh, just took this fun text (thanks Caffeine and Nicotine!) Yes, I can't sleep at night. So sue me.

What are you, girlies??

The Maid of Honor
Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLMf)

Appreciated for your kindness and envied for all your experience, you are The Maid of Honor.

Charismatic, affectionate, and terrific in relationships, you are what many guys would call a "perfect catch"--and you probably have many admirers, each wishing to capture your long-term love. You're careful, extra careful, because the last thing you want is to hurt anyone. Especially some poor boy whose only crime was liking you.

We've deduced you're fully capable of a dirty fling, but you do feel that post-coital attachment after hooking up. So, conscientious person that you are, you do your best to reserve physical affection for those you respect...so you can respect yourself.

Your biggest negative is the byproduct of your careful nature: indecision. You're just as slow rejecting someone as you are accepting them.

Your exact opposite:
Half-cocked

Random Brutal Sex Dreamer

ALWAYS AVOID: The False Messiah, The 5-Night Stand, The Vapor Trail, The Bachelor

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, someone just like you.

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.

Uh... a nice, NORMAL date for once?

2005-10-18T01:26:00.000-04:00

Just met up with this guy from match.com. And.....uh, it was a really NICE, normal date. We talked for almost 7 hours about everything imaginable, and he's cute and sweet and semi-dorky and passionate.... I think he may be a 6 on the 6 point Kristin scale...

I'm pretty sure we're going out again. He made me promise that we'd see Eternal Sunshine together (cuz I've never seen it and he wants to get my first impression. Please don't ruin it for me, people!) and said he wanted to do karaoke with me this Friday. It was so... NICE. I don't even have a nickname for him, he was too normal.

I feel like I've "met a guy with the same characteristics" as me. We have QUITE a bit in common. Hrm. I feel like maybe this could go somewhere, actually. What a foreign thought!

time flies...

2005-10-16T14:37:00.000-04:00

wow, it's 2 years since i met luis. life seemed soo insanely difft back then. we were joking around last night. i was like, before i met you i actually was having fun. luis was like, before i met you i didn't have an ulcer. hehe our lives have seriously turned upside down... the night we met, jersey shore boy and i were resolving a fight via a chugging contest, we sang happy bday to kristin and spoon outside of kevin st james, and kristin told me about luis.."he's kind of a player, but not that tall" i remember when i first saw him outside of kevin st james, with his dorky ass glasses and accountant clothes and dorky smile, i was like, that's HIM? hmm we went to yogi's and watched the yankees-red SUCKS and luis practically tongue raped me there. it was total love/hate at first sight.
now life seems more serious which kinda sucks at times. i have a test practically every week and he works like 14 hr days. it's hard to remember how much fun life was before, but at the same time, going thru these changes together and still being able to have lots of fun together says a lot...

Birthday Fun Fun.

2005-10-16T05:10:00.000-04:00

Okay, so….. my birthday this year ……. pretty much sucked. We had a party, as usual, and tons of people came, but … somehow it never gelled to critical party mode. Kim was sick, which was a bummer, because somehow she totally has this power to control the tempo of the party (Luis was joking about this with me) so it was a pretty chill time. (Feel better Kim!) Footlong and MacB were both there, (obviously MacB is no longer a contender for my affections) and the boy with the Mojito mix from my acting class showed up too. Footlong was acting kinda weird. I think he knew I was semi-flirting with Mojito Boy, but I dunno, it seemed like he wanted me to act like he was my boyfriend, even though he calls me like once every two weeks, and does not treat me in any way a boyfriend should. But I was talking to MacB and I guess he felt dismissed and left. So no bday sex for me.

Then Mojito Boy and I were flirting, and everything was going fine, until he asked for Sarah’s phone number. What’s up with that?!?! I swear, every boy who I’m ever interested in ends up kissing/flirting/going out with Sarah (including, yes, the Poet). (And she’s back with the Hated Ex, now, so she’s not even single!) So I got pretty upset pretty fast. And then MacB left, too, so I ended up all alone, and cried myself to sleep (I feel so rejected). Fun huh?

I don’t think I’ve ever had such a shitty birthday in my life. Well, my 8th birthday was my grandmother’s funeral, so that was pretty bad too, but at least I didn’t cry myself to sleep, So I think this wins the prize for Worst. Birthday. Ever. At least this is only one bad one in a while, not a string of bad ones....

Go me.

A World of Possibility...

2005-10-14T19:47:00.000-04:00

Okay, so dating in New York is hard for us girls. I've said it, Sex and the City said it, there's even a whole genre of literature saying it. But despite all the bitching and complaining about single life, being single here does have its occasional moments. Moments where it seems like anything is possible.

Depite the constant complaint about the men here, we live in a city of 8 million. So there are single boys about. And each day is fraught with possiblity. All of these boys--any one of them could be The One. It's nice to think that your soulmate might be just around the corner. And we've all met someone we've crushed on, despite being with someone else. But not being tied down means that anyone I take a liking to who takes a liking to me is a possibility. Or at the very least I'm allowed to entertain the possibility in my mind. And it's a good feeling.

So, I'm sure you'll ask, where has this hopeful Kristin come from? Well, there has been some flirtatious action from some of the boys in my acting class (and yes, they're actually straight!). The first hint came from a guy we'll call Spaz (he's a tad spastic, but in a totally funny way). He was sitting next to me and making me laugh. His scene partner (we'll call him 'Oz' cuz he reminds me of Chris Klein) is like 6'3", a musician, and totally cute. When Spaz was saying "oh, I make you laugh, you think I'm funny" Oz was like "no she doesn't, you're totally reading her wrong." It was like a little male competitiveness thing going on. Then today, when we were leaving class, Oz made a point of shoving me out of the row (in that "i like you" but I'm in middle school-type way). And one other boy (who seems to have the most actual relationship potential) made a point to announce that he was coming to my party this weekend and that he was going to bring all the fixings for mojitos. Nice! My type of guy...

Ring around the Roxy

2005-10-14T18:44:00.000-04:00

Okay, some of my single girlfriends don't believe me (okay, maybe just Roxy), but this is why you should NEVER wear any type of ring on the left ring finger if you're single. Boys can be dumb.

Bor-ing!

2005-10-13T12:57:00.000-04:00

So, i'm in the final throws of rehearsal before my show opens, so of course I have, like, no free time till next week. What with that and the total lack of boys on the horizon, I fear my dating life has become too boring for anyone to care about. I promise that I'll get some more boys soon -- there are two on match that seem promising, and of course the cute boy in my acting class that I want to jump. I fear Footlong is losing interest -- we're down to a date once every 2 weeks, which can't be good news. Oh well, we're having a party Saturday night, so maybe I'll be able to regale y'all with scandalous stories from that!

Creepy Wedding in CT

2005-10-10T13:28:00.000-04:00

So, this morning I finally got back from Hartford.

All of my boyfriend’s friends (except for Goofball) are getting married this Fall, so we had to attend yet another wedding. I have to say this of all the weddings I’ve been to in my life, this one was the most troubling.

This couple, we’ll call them Rhonda and Jonathan, are really cute together. They are clearly very much in love and are devoted to each other. However, their wedding ceremony was very upsetting.
First, they barely looked at each other during the ceremony. She looked happy, but he looked like he was about to shit himself or something. They weren’t really holding hands during the ceremony and didn’t even really look at each other during the vows portion of the ceremony. I couldn’t understand it.

The worst part was the Minister. He was so sexist. He kept talking about how we should pray for Jonathan to be the best provider and leader of the family. Hello! Rhonda is a lawyer, she can provide for herself. I also don’t agree that anyone should lead anyone else in a marriage. Isn’t the point of being married that you’re supposed to make decisions together? I don’t want anyone to tell me what to do and I don’t want to tell anyone what to do. Then the Minster was saying that we should pray for Rhonda to be understanding and patient. Doesn’t a husband need to be those things too?

I know men that sometimes say things like “Women belong in the kitchen” or whatever, but they don’t really mean it. They are just trying to shock people. This Minister meant his creepy words.

I swear to God that when I get married, I will write the damn ceremony to prevent any kind of sexist crap from working its way into the service. Or better yet, I’ll have one of my friends ordained to perform weddings on the internet or something.

It was all so upsetting!

Goofball Sighting

2005-10-09T17:43:00.000-04:00

I saw Goofball last night with his date at the movies. I was actually sitting just a few seats behind him, but I’m not sure he saw me and I didn’t greet him. He was on a date with a much shorter (he’s really tall) brunette. He had his arm around her during the movie and helped her put on her jacket after the movie. Watching him treat this other girl so warmly was really rather off-putting. Just a few days ago, he asked Kristin to go home with him. He practically begged her to go home with him. And now here he was holding this other girl’s hand. I know that he was just on a date, I know that he has no commitment to this girl, but still I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of anger and disgust.

Good News!

2005-10-06T15:42:00.000-04:00

Sooo.... I just found out I DO qualify for unemployment! Yippee! So I don't have to worry QUITE so much about the whole situation, for now, at least. Though it's still a LOT less than I was making before...

Boys Behaving Bizzarely

2005-10-05T00:57:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I realize that I'm some sort of a magnet for bizzare boy behavior. MacB & British Scientist are good examples--and that's just in the last month! But tonight just seems to be yet another example...

One of Princeton Lawyer's best friends from his undergrad days is a fellow we'll call Goofball. We met him at Princeton Lawyer's 4th of July party, back when I was still with Jersey Shore Boy. All the boys seemed to like him a lot, but he has the most loud, strange laugh. And he's a bit of a dork, but would be totally cute if he stopped trying so hard to impress everybody.

Anyways, he totally fell in love with Kim at the 4th of July party. Apparently, according to Princeton Lawyer, he wouldn't stop talking about her. Now Kim is pretty hot, and sweet to boot, but is totally in love with Luis. And she was pretty clear on that at the 4th of July party. But we kept hearing how Goofball was so hung up on Kim--even though Luis is certainly not going anywhere. And Goofball and Luis seemed to get along really well, which just made Goofball's love for Luis's girlfriend stranger.

Well, we all went bowling tonight, and Goofball was there. He actually seemed better than he was on the 4th, still trying to impress people, but not quite so hard (which was good). But after talking to (flirting with?) Kim for a bit, he kept coming my way. And Luis was pretty funny--he was like, "My man Goofball is single, Kristin" and stuff. Pretty amusing. So I talk to Goofball for a bit, off and on, all night. (I had my eye on one of Cynthia's totally cute law student friends, but OF COURSE he's engaged. What a bummer!)

Well, we're all getting ready to go, and Goofball kind of corners me and says, no joke, "I live in SoHo--it's not far from here." I'm like, uh, okay... And he repeats himself. I ask him "Are you asking me to go home with you?" And he says yes, he is. Uh...... THIS IS ONLY THE 2ND TIME I'VE MET YOU!

What ever happened to asking for a girl's number, huh? He seems sweet enough, and my policy is to go on a first date with anyone non-repulsive that asks (and he is between 5-6 points on the Kristin dating scale...), but he kind of skipped all the steps, and jumped right to going home with him. We weren't even KISSING--so how could he possibily think that I would just go home with him so easily? And it's a Tuesday night! And we weren't even on a date or anything! And last I checked, wasn't he in love with my best friend?

Totally bizzare.

The wierdest part is, he takes his leave of Cynthia, Princeton Lawyer, Sarah, and I in Washington Square Park. We are walking to the West 4th station, talking about his strange behavior and what he needs to change about it, and we're walking by the basketball courts. Sarah goes, "Hey, is that Goofball?" and we look, and sure 'nuff, Goofball is randomly playing basketball with this group of guys.

Totally bizzare.

Okay for now....

2005-10-04T00:32:00.000-04:00

So my mom calmed me down on the financial situation--she said I have to wait a bit before I freak out (and I filled out my unemployment application today, so let's keep our fingers crossed that that goes through!).

And on the boy front, I'm actually sorta okay with how things are. Disappointingly, British Scientist has disappeared entirely, which is a bummer, but if he's going to be all flaky, better to know now than before we get too seriously involved. Footlong and I had a nice date this weekend, though, and I'm actually okay with things. No, he's not (nor probably will ever be) the love of my life--but I'm not his either. However, we do have a fun time together, and cuddling up against his super super hot chest is waaaaay fun. The best part: I stayed over at his place, and he lives 3 blocks from where I was shooting all weekend, so that certainly made things easier as I rolled out the door Sunday morning. He offered to make me breakfast (awwwwh) but since I was going to be on set, I turned him down (y'all have no idea how much food is on film sets). And since I know you want to know, no, he didn't make me come, but I really don't care. He's eye candy, and I enjoy that. And he's nice enough. For the meantime....

saturday nights in

2005-10-02T14:00:00.000-04:00

stuff luis and i did the past couple of sat nights:

-ordered in take out
-studied while luis channel surfed b/n the godfather and college football
-helped and watched luis trim his pubes (trimming makes his penis look like 5 inches bigger! what a great trick)
-went grocery shopping at 11:30 pm
-plucked my eyebrows while luis watched
-went to bed before midnight
-walked past a bar at around 11 and said, wow there are people out

hehe too funny. suprisingly (or not) i have much more fun staying in than i do going out these days. comfort is a good thing, i think.

btw... so the whole living together thing... luis actually is serious about it (GASP) which leaves me sorta kinda nervous about the whole thing! he says he thinks june of next year would be a good time b/c his car will be paid off and my school will be over for the year....yikes! since when is he un-committment phobic?? what has happened to my boyfriend?

My Day Got a Little Better....

2005-09-28T23:21:00.000-04:00

Footlong called! Well, that improved my day a little bit. No word from British Scientist still. It's been nearly a week. I think it is over. So, I will be going out with Footlong on Saturday night. I told him about my situation and he said he would buy me dinner, I said that would be lovely.

I suppose things aren't QUITE so dire....

Down in the Depths on the 90th Floor....

2005-09-28T10:56:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I'm totally depressed about losing my job. This event has caused a ripple effect of problems in my life. Hottie Roommate is moving out, and I was going to float his portion of the rent so we could have a bit more space for a few weeks, do some renovations, etc. But now, obviously, I won't be able to cover it, so I'm freaking out.

Also, this show I'm in has the rehearsal schedule from HELL, and two cast members have already dropped out. Since so many people have dropped out already, I feel like I can't drop out, but if I didn't have to rehearse, I could do odd jobs like promotions (I was the St. Pauli girl a couple years ago & Octoberfest is coming up) or stuff like that. And NO, we're not getting paid for this thing, the director is a friend of mine and I was doing it as a favor to her. But I'm hating this show more and more as each day goes on. I posted a casting notice for my part (I have to miss one of the performances anyway) and told the director that if she can find someone else for my part, I'd appreciate it. But she still wants me to go to rehearsal on Saturday, even though I told her I'm shooting a student film all weekend. Arrrrrrg! She's totally unreasonable.

To boot, I've now lost ALL my boys. British Scientist has not contacted me since he cancelled our date Friday, even though I sent him a cute text message "Let me know if you u need me to bring chicken soup" (since he was ostensibly sick). That was on Saturday. It is now Wednesday. I think he's gone--I really do. He most likely slept with his Ex and doesn't want to tell me (not that I'd care, we weren't ever really together). I blew off Pizza Boy one-too-many times, so he's (rightfully) not calling, and Footlong last contacted me a week ago. I called him back Friday, but I think neither one of us is all that into the other--we just find each other attractive.

Sooooooo life sucks. I'm going to try to apply for unemployment, but I don't know if I worked here long enough to qualify. And we're desperately looking for a roommate, but luckily we've gotten a few craigslist responses, so hopefully something will happen. I hope so. But the worst is the depression. I don't want to do anything, just sit and home and mope.

Downsized...

2005-09-26T16:43:00.000-04:00

So, girlies, just found out that I'm getting canned (along with all the other freelancers) from my job. Wednesday is my last day.

Looks like I'll be taking a break from dating for a while--it's too expensive being single!

Any ideas for how to make a quick buck? Unfortunately my class schedule is pretty rigid, and I don't think I'll be able to find a freelance gig that is that flexible...